Category Archives: Politics

Monday, August 18, 2014

Posted on August 18, 2014 | Leave a comment

Monday, August 18, 2014

Let me see I was going to write about three things – football, the weather, and Oops! Maybe Captain Hairspray? Don’t tell me you didn’t see this post coming. Governor Goodhair, you continue to make Texas history. First you are the longest reigning governor ever and now you are the first indictment since James “Pa” Ferguson in 1917. There is a similarity between the two. Governor Ferguson was indicted for wanting to get rid of University of Texas faculty and officials because he did not like them. You want to get rid of the Travis County District Attorney because she is a Democrat, granted a highly intoxicated one at one time. Any high school civics teacher knows you overstepped your power. You do not get to govern Travis County agencies. The county does. That is called an abuse of power. It wasn’t that you vetoed the agency and withheld its funding, it is that you said you were going to if she did not resign. You do not get to do that. You don’t get to rule on county employees even if they are drunk. Speaking of abuse of power, I see where your defense attorney for this action makes $450 PER HOUR of state funds. Yikes.I knew I should have been a lawyer. I hope having to go to the court house to get finger printed and have your mug shot taken and then go to trial does not distract you from your war with Mexico or delays your trip to New Hampshire with its 17 miles of coastland. State officials have estimated the deployment of Texas National Guard troops along the border cost $12 million per month. PER MONTH! Well, Captain Hairspray, you lawyer yourself up, guard the border, and I will just bend over, but keep my voter registration card current. Only parsley, sage, Rosemary and thyme will tell.

Leave a comment

Posted in Politics

Friday, August 08, 2014

Posted on August 8, 2014 | Leave a comment

Friday, August 08, 2014

“Effective at noon tomorrow, I will resign the Presidency of the United States of America.” Calm down Sarah Palin, I am referring to Richard Mihouse Nixon and the 40th anniversary of his resignation as President of the United States. While it is all Watergate under the bridge, it still fun to recall the names. In May 1973 we watched the Senate Select Committee on Presidential Campaign Activities, headed by the Senator from North Carolina, Sam Ervin and his eyebrows. During the hearing the White House lawyer, John Dean said former Attorney General John Mitchell did it and WH advisers John Eherlichman and H. R. Haldeman knew about it too. Yep, even Nixon knew about it. Meanwhile, Watergate prosecutor Archibald (who really names their child Archibald?) Cox uncovered widespread evidence of illegal wiretapping of thousands of private citizens by the administration and contributions to the Republican Party in return for political favors. And just think, he did all of this discovering without benefit of a computer and social media. Hey, Nixon if you are reading this from Hell, “Did you think another round of Checkers and Pat’s good Republican cloth coat could save you again?” By the end of July 1974, the House Judiciary Committee had adopted three articles of impeachment against President Nixon: obstruction of justice, abuse of presidential powers and hindrance of the impeachment process. That last article concerned the infamous tapes and the 18 minutes that were missing. At that point Nixon was busted like ho at a cheap motel on Saturday night. At no point was a cigar involved or mentioned in the indictment. Well, we certainly did not have Tricky Dick “to kick around anymore” after that.

Here is a bit of alternative history. Alternative history is where one plays “what if” an event actually took place that changed history. When Nixon received the Republican nomination in 1968, his main party opponent was the governor of Michigan George Romney. What if George Romney had won the nomination? Maybe Mitt would be in White House today.

Nixon appealed to what he later called the “silent majority” of “socially conservative Americans” who disliked hippies and the anti-war demonstrators. I am not certain if that means they were pro-war. Here’s What I’m Thinking – as his campaign button prophetically stated – Nixon’s the One. He is the One who started it all. Nixon – Making Republicans Proud Even Today!

Leave a comment

Posted in Politics

Tagged Nixon, Republicans, Watergate

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Posted on July 17, 2014 | Leave a comment

Thursday, July 17, 2014

My sister doesn’t like it when I write about political topics. But sometimes, the Snark just slips out. Fair warning.

Dear Ms. Sarah Palin,

Please forgive the common, pedestrian greeting. Since you are the “one and done” governor of Alaska and the “one and none” Republican Vice Presidential winner, I did not know how to begin with the appropriate salutatory address. I thought ill-informed and agitator were a bit harsh and over used. I understand you are calling for the impeachment of the POTUS. How about we do some role playing? I will be Katie Couric and you can be you. Only this time, I will give you all of the questions ahead of time. And you may phone a friend, email a friend, text a friend and/or tweet a friend for any assistance you might seek. Question one. When you call for the impeachment of the President, are you representing the Republican Party or just those who like tea parties?

Now these next questions I got from one of my old 8th grade American history tests.
2. Where in the United States Constitution are impeachment proceedings addressed? Note: Page 456 in the back of the history book in not the correct answer.

3. For what reasons can the president be impeached? Note: Higher Order thinking skill – give an example of each one.

4 How many presidents of the United States have been impeached?

5. Can you give their names? What? Oh you know this? OK.Hmm. Sorry. While the number two is correct, the names are Bill Clinton and Andrew Johnson. Richard Nixon resigned before impeachment proceedings could begin. I believe both of the impeached presidents were associated with Radical Republicans.

6. What is the constitutional definition of impeachment? No. It is not the removal from office. It is the bringing of charges for impeachment. FYI – No child under the age of 12 knew what a blowjob was until the Republicans impeached President Clinton.

7. Who originates the impeachment process? No, I’m sorry. The American people is incorrect.The House of Representatives brings charges of impeachment.

These next questions are from me.
8. What is the party majority in the United States Senate? The reason for this question regards the process following an impeachment verdict. The U. S. Senate tries the case and has the power to remove an individual from office.

9. Do you have any one in mind to serve as Special Prosecutor? I think the guy who was the special prosecutor in the Clinton trial works at a Baptist university in Texas. I know for a fact that he has really good seats for women’s and men’s basketball in the Ferrell Center. And at graduation he gets to lead all of the faculty and graduates into the Ferrell Center wearing this really, really big gold necklace. It is really cool. So I do not think you have much of a shot at getting him back.

10. Are you familiar with the constitutional term ‘”lame duck?” No, not an injured or crippled fowl.

11. How much do you estimate an impeachment trial would cost the tax payers during a lame duck term?

12. Are you aware that your name spelled backwards is Nilap Haras?

Get back to me when your handlers have prepped you with answers.

Sincerely,
DRDRD
Former 8th grade American history school teacher
Cc Tina Fey and Amy Pohler

Leave a comment

Posted in Politics

Tagged impeachment, Sarah Palin, Tiny Fey

EDU 601 Professional Development

Posted on November 16, 2010 | Leave a comment

EDU 601 Professional Development

EDU 601 – What? You thought the Home School only went to Grade 12? Wrong.

Assignment: Design a first day orientation professional development for the incoming freshman of the United States Congress.

Result

Good morning and welcome to Washington D.C. the seat of the government of the United States of America. This translates in any language to the greatest democracy and greatest nation in the world. My name is Brenda Redwinestein, your lead instructor.

Will the 87 of you newly elected representatives open your government provided IPADs and open the file titled Opening Remarks? This contains academic and biographical information about your instructors. These slides will also serve as an introduction of the agenda.

As you can see from the PowerPoint slide with my bio on it that I graduated from Stephen F. Austin State University, Sam Houston State University and Texas A&M University.

A question from the representative from Texas? No, I did not attend the George H.W. Bush School. It was a pig farm when I attended.

After our introductions I will begin by presenting The Difference Between C-a-p-i-t-A-l and C-a-p-i-t-O-l. Capital is The Place. Capitol is the Domed building.

Please continue by moving to the next slide. Note my assistant, Dr. Abdula Oblongata III. Dr. Oblongata received his PhD from Harvard University in Global Media Communications. He and his parents and grand parents were born in Chicago. He is not an anchor baby. Dr. Oblongata will conduct a session this morning entitled, “News sources other than Fox News.”

We are fortunate today to have with us Dr. Wing Flung Doo from Taiwan. Dr. Doo will give you a tour of the tunneling infrastructure in hopes you will be able to find not only your office, but you will be able to find your way from your office to the House of Representatives located in the south wing of the Capitol. Note you have a map on your IPAD.

Also with me today is Dr. Lydia Rivas-Buffet, Economics Professor at Massachusetts Institute of Technology. Yes, the representative from Florida? No, she is not Jimmy or Warren Buffet’s adopted child.

Dr. Rivas-Buffet’s family for three, no four generations, are formerly from Arizona. They all live in Texas now. Dr. Rivas-Buffet will demonstrate basic mathematical principles of addition, subtraction, division and multiplication. A critical understanding of basic mathematical operations will be vital for budget discussions. Other numerical examples are: There are 87 of you and 348 of Them for a total of 435. While this means you newbies are representing one-fourth of the representatives, it also means three-fourths are seasoned politicians. Dr. Rivas will also conduct a statistical analysis of the likelihood that any of you will be appointed to important committees and that any of your agendas will be heard.

Also on the instructional team is Oprah Winfrey Washington. Like her name sake, Ms. Washington knows everybody you will need to know. This includes secretaries, staff members, members of the opposition, lobbyists, special interest groups and political action committee members. She will instruct you on Tweeting Without Legal and Career Ending Ramifications.

The man in the burgundy satin tights, silver sequined vest and pink feather boa is Dr. Curtis J. Matthews from the prestigious New York school – Political Preparation for Drama and Theatre. He will assist this week, not only in wardrobe selection, but is responsible for the role playing activities to prepare you to interact with the lobbyists, special interests groups, lawyers, bar tenders, prostitutes, homosexuals, pro choice, anti choice, big government, liberals, conservatives, libertarians, librarians, lesbians, Lebanese, tree huggers, whale-savers, rain forest lovers … you can continue the next two slides to see others you will need to deal with.

Now your first task.

Open the file on your IPAD entitled THE DOCUMENT. Read the United States Constitution. I know for some of you, especially the three dozen of you who have never held an office, this will be difficult. Please read the entire document and not just the parts you spout out of context. Please note there are more amendments that the first two.

Be prepared to answer “What are the duties assigned to the House of Representatives?” Make a grid showing your agenda and which constitutional duties of the House they fall under.

In addition be prepared to discuss “How A Bill Becomes Law” and “How an Amendment Becomes Law” Assignments without timelines will not be submitted to the Speaker of the House for consideration.

We hope you have a great time in Washington. In summary, look at it this way. You have no plans to compromise. Your fellow Republicans have no plans. So you can’t be too far apart.

Good luck. May The Force you think you are, Be With You. Are there any questions before we dismiss?

Yes.

When do we get to meet Sarah Palin?

Leave a comment

Posted in Education, Politics, Uncategorized

Happy Days Are Here Again

Posted on November 15, 2010 | 1 comment

Happy Days Are Here Again

http://kids.niehs.nih.gov/lyrics/happydays.htm

Happy days are here again
The skies above are clear again
So let’s sing a song of cheer again
Happy days are here again

Ah, the Franklin Roosevelt campaign song. Franklin Delano Roosevelt the first Socialist president of the United States. FDR and the New Deal. FDR – Democrat, creator of Social Security. Lyndon B. Johnson – Democrat, creator of Medicare. You Tea Partiers like those benefits don’t you? You are OK with that from the big, nasty, federal government, aren’t you?

I am singing today because I am filing for my social security benefits. Yes, I know those of you out there are thinking, why she certainly is not old enough to file. This will be my second retirement government check. So I am quite content to do nothing except keep you mildly entertained.

Why am I filing at the first age eligible opportunity?

1. In the event that King Richard of Hairspray convinces the people “that Social Security is a Ponzi scheme and is illegal in this country”; (Read his book)

2. The Big Government King Richard refers to actually raises the retirement age to ten years from now; and/or

3. The money runs out.

Whichever of these come first or collide, I am taking the money and running now. See ya!

1 Comment

Posted in Politics

FAQ for RFN

Posted on November 1, 2010 | 2 comments

FAQ for RFN

OK – as of this date – All Saint’s Day – November 1 – there are only a few names submitted for the As Yet Unnamed Home School of One. I am aware that many of you have been gallivanting around the globe and seeing the spacious skies and purple mounted majesties. Some of you have been wasting away in Margaritville in Pacific coastal beach resorts. And at least one of you is finding your inner peace in Peru. But many of you have returned and there is still plenty of time to submit a name for As Yet Unnamed Home School of One. So I know on the deadline day – Daylights Savings Time Ends – there will be a flurry of names submitted for review. Right? Now get busy.

As in the real process a Frequently Asked Questions document is available at the half way point.

1. Q. Do I have to follow these instructions?

A. Obviously not, since only a few names have been submitted.

2. Q. Can I suggest a name to you on the golf course?

A. Yes, write it on the score card.

3. Q. Can I submit my name to you at a bar?

A. Yes, but write it on the coaster. Not the cocktail napkin. It is sturdier and has a better liklihood of getting to my house.

4. Q. Can I submit my suggestions via my work computer?

A. Probably not your best move unless you plan to leave soon or your suggestion is the Big Brother Academy of Misinformation.

5. Q. Can I submit my suggestions via text message?

A. Yes, but not during the World Series or NCAA football games. I am too busy texting my friends and family.

6. Q. Will a list of names that are submitted on golf score cards, bar coasters and personal emails and texts be made available to the public?

A. Check later in the week for submitted names. Perhaps one of them will spark your brain to submit something equally as clever.

7. Q. What happens if there are not enough names submitted to name the school?

A. In the event, you the home school constituency does not submit a sufficient number of names to review OR if the Review Committee Refuses to Review, the following alternative selection process will be implemented.

A super size 4’ X 6’ grid similar to a standard BINGO card will be designed. This is the same size as the indoor/outdoor rug in my dwelling. In the squares submitted names will be placed.

The AYUHSOO Board President, Buddy T. Cat will make the selection. Mr. Cat will vomit on the grid. The square with the hairball will become the name of the school.

HEY! What’s wrong with that process? It’s the same one King Hairspray uses without the vomit part. He just picks his friends and contributors with no process.

2 Comments

Posted in Education, Politics

There’s An App For That

Posted on October 28, 2010 | Leave a comment

There’s An App For That

With the Congressional elections only days away here’s what I’m thinking about the Republican Candidate from Delaware running for a United States Senate seat.

Last Tuesday, October, 19, Christine O’Donnell boo-booed badly in a debate with her Democratic opponent, Chris Coons. It seems the Republican candidate asked as a retort “Where in the Constitution is the separation of church and state?” Then adding further insult to the proverbial injury, she continued with “You mean to tell me that it’s in the First Amendment?”

Yes, Christine, there is a First Amendment. Perhaps you just go with the witchcraft thing. I mean what says Founding Fathers’ Fundamentalism more that New England witchcraft? Besides being able to caste a few spells in Congress might be beneficial. Also, you’ve got that Stephen King, killer car with a mind of its own namesake – Christine.

But Chrissy, not having a fundamental knowledge of the United States Constitution does not look good on your video resume. Just so you will know ITunes has an app for all of the important historical documents. A quick download to your phone or pod will do you wonders. Of course you will have to read it and more importantly you will have to understand it.

The Vanderbilt First Amendment Center http://www.firstamendmentcenter.org/ noted that most Americans cannot tell you the freedoms guaranteed by the First Amendment. Can you? Do not scroll to the bottom where the answers are until you finish reading.

Same Center also reported the 50% of the American people believe the U. S. Constitutions establishes a Christian nation. I guess the other 50% of us actually have an app and an understanding.

Another suggestion for you. You might want to brush up on some of the more famous, legal changing Supreme Court cases. Abortion? Gays? Gays in the Military? Immigration? Illegal Aliens from Planet Kooky? Anything? You came up with nothing? There’s an app for that.

Last, but obvious not least, Ms. O’Donnell, Delaware was the first state to ratify the U. S. Constitution in 1787. There’s an app for that too.

Good luck on Tuesday to you and all of the others. Remember God protects fools, drunks and the United States of America. Vote Early. Vote Often.

Freedom of speech, freedom of press, freedom of religion, freedom of assembly, and right to petition the government.

Leave a comment

Posted in Politics

Shoot Me

Posted on September 20, 2010 | 3 comments

Shoot Me

Shoot Me. Just shoot me now.

I would rather have a hot water high colonic AND a root canal without anesthesia than watch Bristol Palin on Dancing With the Stars. In fact I would rather have both of the above mentioned procedures AND have a bunion removed than to watch anybody on Dancing With the Stars. Period.

The show enters its 11^th season tonight. If you recall, I said I thought the show was too old two years ago. And then along came Dancing Tom DeLay shaking his booty in high definition. It almost sent me over the top. I could no longer watch.

When the show first appeared, it paired some relatively well-known people, with little known, but exceptionally good ballroom dancers. Most of them are anchor children from Russia, but that is another story. Now it seems the dancers are at least, if not more famous than the “stars.” Who makes up this year’s DWTS reality show cast/line hopefuls?

Mike “The Situation” I Forgot His Last Name– Reality show. Jersey Shore. Don’t watch.

Audrina Patridge- Another reality show “star from The Hills. Her bio has the words “naked pictures” in it. Perhaps there will be dance which calls for a pole.

David Hasselhoff- Another Baywatch star to hit the dance floor. And we all remember how spectacular Baywatch was and what great stars it produced.

Kyle Massey – Disney, baby rapper.

Rick Fox- Don’t follow the NBA. His bio states “This NBA star has been married to Vanessa Willams, hooked up with Eliza Dushku, Alicia Keys, Mariah Carey, and even Sharon Stone.” In what way has Mr. Fox hooked up with all these famous women? NBA players. Ow! Brings flash backs of Clyde Drexler.

Michael Bolton- Just cause you can sing does not mean you can dance. Let’s hope this is not the case with MB.

Brandy- “Brandy, you’re a fine girl, what a good wife you’d be?” Oh, wrong Brandy? You go, Girl. You might can win this.

Kurt Warner- Just how sexy can Mr. Nice Guy get?

Jennifer Grey- daughter of Joel “Cabaret” Grey and starred in Dirty Dancing with Patrick Swayze. And she was engaged to Matthew Broderick and Johnny Depp and dated George Stephanopoulos. Probably not at the same time. But any woman with that many cool dudes in her life has got to be cool too. This is my pick. Let’s just hope there is a voting fan base.

Margaret Cho – ain’t no Kristi Yamaguchi, but could be fun to watch.

Florence Henderson- Betty White too busy? Mother Brady and Wesson Oil. Now there’s an image I don’t want to think about. Florence probably doesn’t want to think about her hair do in this video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jaRyZGJB14c

Let’s hope you can dance better than you can sing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s6WsnNJgorg&feature=related

And of course Bristol Palin. Remind me again. What exactly is Bristol famous for? I wonder if she will dance to the Dovelle’s Bristol stomp. http://s0.ilike.com/play#The+Dovells:Bristol+Stomp:68478:s22834.2770.4306931.1.2.170%2Cstd_2b3b1c77e76342a6933d3823027b0122

Will there be a Smokey The Bear waltz for all the Mama Grizzlies with Big Mama in the front row? Will Salin Palin order the Tea Party Express to vote for her daughter or she will withhold endorsements? The excitement awaits in season eleven.

I would rather see Bristol and all of the others on Wipe Out. A campaign to get Bristol on Wipe Out might be worth subscribing to Face Book. Good Night. And Big Balls. And Big Ballrooms.