Category Archives: Education

Thursday, October 1, 2015 – Joaquin is Coming! Check for Understanding

Posted on October 1, 2015 | 1 comment

Taggin Dr. D. at the Cadillacs out side Amarillo. April 2015

I hereby declare today as Saint Madeline Hunter Check for Understanding Day. OK – you had to be in education to know who Madeline Hunter was. And I have letters in front of my name so I can say whatever and you will believe what I write. Far lesser minds just SHARE and REPOST on FB and you believe all that junk.

I see on the news and weather reports that a hurricane with a Spanish/Mexican name is about to enter the United States via the East Coast illegally. Joaquin appears ready to strike at the nation’s capital and then travelling to New York and New Jersey.

Does Donald Trump plan to build a wall to keep out this alien? Or does he just plan to let Joaquin blow all of the people he doesn’t want here back to their country of origin? Or maybe he and all of the other politicians just plan to blow hot air back at Joaquin and send it back into the Atlantic.

1 Comment

Posted in Education, Politics

Tagged Donald Trump; Hurrican Joaquin

EDU 601 Professional Development

Posted on November 16, 2010 | Leave a comment

EDU 601 Professional Development

EDU 601 – What? You thought the Home School only went to Grade 12? Wrong.

Assignment: Design a first day orientation professional development for the incoming freshman of the United States Congress.

Result

Good morning and welcome to Washington D.C. the seat of the government of the United States of America. This translates in any language to the greatest democracy and greatest nation in the world. My name is Brenda Redwinestein, your lead instructor.

Will the 87 of you newly elected representatives open your government provided IPADs and open the file titled Opening Remarks? This contains academic and biographical information about your instructors. These slides will also serve as an introduction of the agenda.

As you can see from the PowerPoint slide with my bio on it that I graduated from Stephen F. Austin State University, Sam Houston State University and Texas A&M University.

A question from the representative from Texas? No, I did not attend the George H.W. Bush School. It was a pig farm when I attended.

After our introductions I will begin by presenting The Difference Between C-a-p-i-t-A-l and C-a-p-i-t-O-l. Capital is The Place. Capitol is the Domed building.

Please continue by moving to the next slide. Note my assistant, Dr. Abdula Oblongata III. Dr. Oblongata received his PhD from Harvard University in Global Media Communications. He and his parents and grand parents were born in Chicago. He is not an anchor baby. Dr. Oblongata will conduct a session this morning entitled, “News sources other than Fox News.”

We are fortunate today to have with us Dr. Wing Flung Doo from Taiwan. Dr. Doo will give you a tour of the tunneling infrastructure in hopes you will be able to find not only your office, but you will be able to find your way from your office to the House of Representatives located in the south wing of the Capitol. Note you have a map on your IPAD.

Also with me today is Dr. Lydia Rivas-Buffet, Economics Professor at Massachusetts Institute of Technology. Yes, the representative from Florida? No, she is not Jimmy or Warren Buffet’s adopted child.

Dr. Rivas-Buffet’s family for three, no four generations, are formerly from Arizona. They all live in Texas now. Dr. Rivas-Buffet will demonstrate basic mathematical principles of addition, subtraction, division and multiplication. A critical understanding of basic mathematical operations will be vital for budget discussions. Other numerical examples are: There are 87 of you and 348 of Them for a total of 435. While this means you newbies are representing one-fourth of the representatives, it also means three-fourths are seasoned politicians. Dr. Rivas will also conduct a statistical analysis of the likelihood that any of you will be appointed to important committees and that any of your agendas will be heard.

Also on the instructional team is Oprah Winfrey Washington. Like her name sake, Ms. Washington knows everybody you will need to know. This includes secretaries, staff members, members of the opposition, lobbyists, special interest groups and political action committee members. She will instruct you on Tweeting Without Legal and Career Ending Ramifications.

The man in the burgundy satin tights, silver sequined vest and pink feather boa is Dr. Curtis J. Matthews from the prestigious New York school – Political Preparation for Drama and Theatre. He will assist this week, not only in wardrobe selection, but is responsible for the role playing activities to prepare you to interact with the lobbyists, special interests groups, lawyers, bar tenders, prostitutes, homosexuals, pro choice, anti choice, big government, liberals, conservatives, libertarians, librarians, lesbians, Lebanese, tree huggers, whale-savers, rain forest lovers … you can continue the next two slides to see others you will need to deal with.

Now your first task.

Open the file on your IPAD entitled THE DOCUMENT. Read the United States Constitution. I know for some of you, especially the three dozen of you who have never held an office, this will be difficult. Please read the entire document and not just the parts you spout out of context. Please note there are more amendments that the first two.

Be prepared to answer “What are the duties assigned to the House of Representatives?” Make a grid showing your agenda and which constitutional duties of the House they fall under.

In addition be prepared to discuss “How A Bill Becomes Law” and “How an Amendment Becomes Law” Assignments without timelines will not be submitted to the Speaker of the House for consideration.

We hope you have a great time in Washington. In summary, look at it this way. You have no plans to compromise. Your fellow Republicans have no plans. So you can’t be too far apart.

Good luck. May The Force you think you are, Be With You. Are there any questions before we dismiss?

Yes.

When do we get to meet Sarah Palin?

FAQ for RFN

Posted on November 1, 2010 | 2 comments

FAQ for RFN

OK – as of this date – All Saint’s Day – November 1 – there are only a few names submitted for the As Yet Unnamed Home School of One. I am aware that many of you have been gallivanting around the globe and seeing the spacious skies and purple mounted majesties. Some of you have been wasting away in Margaritville in Pacific coastal beach resorts. And at least one of you is finding your inner peace in Peru. But many of you have returned and there is still plenty of time to submit a name for As Yet Unnamed Home School of One. So I know on the deadline day – Daylights Savings Time Ends – there will be a flurry of names submitted for review. Right? Now get busy.

As in the real process a Frequently Asked Questions document is available at the half way point.

1. Q. Do I have to follow these instructions?

A. Obviously not, since only a few names have been submitted.

2. Q. Can I suggest a name to you on the golf course?

A. Yes, write it on the score card.

3. Q. Can I submit my name to you at a bar?

A. Yes, but write it on the coaster. Not the cocktail napkin. It is sturdier and has a better liklihood of getting to my house.

4. Q. Can I submit my suggestions via my work computer?

A. Probably not your best move unless you plan to leave soon or your suggestion is the Big Brother Academy of Misinformation.

5. Q. Can I submit my suggestions via text message?

A. Yes, but not during the World Series or NCAA football games. I am too busy texting my friends and family.

6. Q. Will a list of names that are submitted on golf score cards, bar coasters and personal emails and texts be made available to the public?

A. Check later in the week for submitted names. Perhaps one of them will spark your brain to submit something equally as clever.

7. Q. What happens if there are not enough names submitted to name the school?

A. In the event, you the home school constituency does not submit a sufficient number of names to review OR if the Review Committee Refuses to Review, the following alternative selection process will be implemented.

A super size 4’ X 6’ grid similar to a standard BINGO card will be designed. This is the same size as the indoor/outdoor rug in my dwelling. In the squares submitted names will be placed.

The AYUHSOO Board President, Buddy T. Cat will make the selection. Mr. Cat will vomit on the grid. The square with the hairball will become the name of the school.

HEY! What’s wrong with that process? It’s the same one King Hairspray uses without the vomit part. He just picks his friends and contributors with no process.

2 Comments

Posted in Education, Politics

Request for Names

Posted on October 19, 2010 | 2 comments

Request for Names

(RFN # 999-10-001)

Closing Date: The End of Daylight Savings Time 2010

The As Yet Unnamed Home School of One (AYUHSOO) is requesting appropriate and inappropriate suggestions for the name of the school, the selection of a school mascot and a name for the selected mascot. In previous times, semi-legal documents such as these would have gone through various levels of bureaucracy and competency to ensure all bases were covered and all CYA documents were included. However, this is not true at this time.

History

In February, 2009, the As Yet Unnamed School of One decided to open the nomenclature process to the general public. Then the student became an exchange student in Hammock and the motion was tabled.

The color khaki was selected to be the school color. This color was selected because:

it pretty much looks good on everybody
is readily available
comes in pants, skirts and shorts
allows one to personalize with favorite colors
is the color of most of the people of the world.

Submission Process

Interested applicants may submit their suggested names for the school and the mascot by leaving a Comment at https://hwit.wordpress.com Applicants may submit as many names as desired.

The school name and mascot selection and name will be scored separately, but should contain some commonality. While it is suggested that type and name of mascot match, it is not required. For example, Stanford University historically turns out some of the best minds in the world in multiple fields. The mascot is a Cardinal, but a weird tree looking creature roams the sidelines and courtsides. Go figure.

School Name Selection

Selection criteria for the school name includes, but is not limited to,

Looks good on golf shirts
Easiest logo to paint on signs
Best fit into a school song, should there be one
Best rhymes with school cheers
Those judged under the influence of Patron or Smoking Loon.

Mascot Selection

Mascot suggestions may be real, fictional, fantasy and may be animal, vegetable or mineral. Applicants must submit a type of mascot and the name for the mascot. For example, dog is the type of mascot while Reveille is the name of the mascot. Got it?

Mascot Scoring Criteria

Scoring criteria include, but are not limited to,

If the mascot is real, where will it relieve itself and who is responsible for cleanup?
If the mascot is costumed, how easy is it to go to the bathroom when wearing the costume?
Who hot is the costume?
How cool is the costume? This means in terms of ventilation.
How cool is the costume? This is the cool factor.

The top three names for the school and the top three mascots will be selected by the committee. These will then be voted upon by the general constituency.

Contact Information

From the True Files from Form Factories

Wm B. Travis – Applicants who call and ask to speak to Mr. Travis, please note, this identifies you immediately as a newcomer to Texas. Travis is the name of the building. Mr. Travis, along with the other 185 died at The Alamo. This automatically disqualifies you for being stupid and ill informed.

Too Stupid to Live – Should your previous applications contain sticky notes with TSTL and is filed in a drawer with the same initials, your application may still be submitted and will be scored. However, you have been labeled by one or more grant experts as Too Stupid To Live.This is due to the inability of principals, librarians, curriculum directors, instructional coaches and others who might have a role to:

to read
to write, and
perform addition, subtraction, multiplication and division on a sixth grade level

Review Panel

A review panel will convene as soon as a sufficient number of names have been submitted. The review panel shall consist of:

A doctor, a lawyer and an Indian Chief
A brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess, and a criminal
At least two certified and certifiable public school superintendents.

Note: Applications will receive extra point is they can name the movie quoted above. Additional points will be given if the applicant can actually name the actors who played those parts.

Disclaimers

To the radical red states, tea party followers, and far right fundamentalist no condoms or birth control topics are a part of this RFN.

Conclusion

In the event no selections are made, the school will continue to use AYUHSOO which is hard to say, doesn’t rhyme with any word in the modern English language and sounds like a sneeze. So leave a comment in the comment section.

2 Comments

Posted in Education, Uncategorized

What Do You Mean The Days are Unexcused?

Posted on October 4, 2010 | Leave a comment

What Do You Mean The Days are Unexcused?

Dear Parent,

Please note your child has been absent for four days from the As Yet Unnamed Home School of One. Without a note, four of these days will be marked as Unexcused. Monday was an In-service Day while the many-hatted individual person of principal, curriculum director and communications officer tried to learn how to use the new smart phone. The phone is smarter than the operator.

If your child continues to miss days with unexcused absences you will be required to come to school with your child and/or be subject to Texas truancy laws. Please submit a note regarding your child’s lack of attendance. Parental support is critical to the operations of the school.

Sincerely,

The Principal

ASUHSOO

———-

Dear principal at the ASUHSOO,

Here is my note.

Monday. No school due to teacher training.

Tuesday – the golf team played so that counts as an excused absence. Please talk to the golf coach.

Wednesday – the student was sick and has proof of going to the dentist.

Thursday – the student was sick as the ragweed count was the highest on record since record keeping and her brain felt like Jell-O wrapped in a wet towel.

Friday – the student was sick and grief stricken following the Texas Aggies’ last two second lost to Oklahoma State University. She was taken to her bed with gloom, despair and agony to boot.

If you count my child absent, I will sue you and the school. Thank you.

———-

Dear Parent,

Thank you for your note. I am pleased to report all days are now marked as EXCUSED. As I too am a Former Student, I am making last Friday excused also.

However to make up the work, the student will be required to post something everyday this week. So get busy and ensure the thoughts are written. These will be called Practice Random Acts of Unrelated Writings.

Thank you for your support.

Independent Study – September 22, 2010

Posted on September 22, 2010 | 1 comment

Independent Study

September 22, 2010

Today, for the first time in twenty years, the As Yet Unnamed Home School of One (AYUHSOO) is conducting an independent study on the following topic.

A Study to Examine the Correlation Among the Early Morning Variables of Swing, Titleist, Birdies, Bermuda Grass and the Autumnal Equinox of 2010

By the Light of the Super Harvest Moon* and Jupiter Too

Other studies of a similar nature cannot be conducted until 2029.

Also known as:

A Footjoy Romp in the Rough

* Google “Super Harvest Moon”

1 Comment

Posted in Education, Uncategorized

AYUHSOO – Day Two – Grade Five

Posted on August 25, 2010 | Leave a comment

AYUHSOO – Day Two – Grade Five

Place: The As Yet Unnamed Home School Of One – Day Two of School

Fifth Grade

Good Morning, Boys and Girls! Today we begin our practice sessions for the state assessments. That is a really big word and a deep money pit industry called tests. Today we are going practice our writing skills.

In just a moment, I will give you the assignment, also call The Prompt, on the white board. Please note this is not a racist statement. It is the name of the board. Besides for years it was called a blackboard and no body complained. Then you have the rest of the day to write an essay answering the prompt.

Pay attention to punctuation and spelling. Write in complete sentences. You will not have to demonstrate these critical skills in other content areas, including other tests in language arts.

Those of you who do not speak English may read the prompt in Spanish, or any one of eight languages available, on the board in the back of the classroom.

Those of you who are unable to read at all, sit quietly until the special education people come by which might be next month.

Now stand up and pledge allegiance to the Texas flag as required by state law.

Okay.

Listen carefully as I read EXACTLY, word for word, from the state approval testing instructional manual. I will read the prompt in English only.

“Tell about something you did the week before school started.”

Let me remind you this is VERY important. Your ability to pass these tests is very important to your future. Those of you who are unable to pass these assessments will probably not be very successful in life. Good luck.

The Week Before School Started

The week before school started I went to see a movie. It was called Eat, Pray and Love. It starred Julie Roberts. She is pretty.

It is about this woman who goes to Italy and eats a lot of spaghetti. Then she goes to India to pray at Hindu temples. I think they were Hindu. There were these blue statues with four arms at the door. It might have been Smurfs. I am glad she did not go to India to eat. With all due respect, their food tastes like crap.

Then she went to Bali to love. Bali is where they have tsunamis. I don’t know that I would have gone to an island named after a bra. I would rather go to Hawaii and they kinda look the same. But she meets a man and falls in love and they leave on a boat. He was that creepy evil man in No Country For Old Men. I liked him better in this movie.

That was the end. My conclusion is: If she had gone to India and it had a tsunami, she could have prayed with the Swami Tsunami.