Request for Names


Request for Names

(RFN # 999-10-001)

Closing Date: The End of Daylight Savings Time 2010

The As Yet Unnamed Home School of One (AYUHSOO) is requesting appropriate and inappropriate suggestions for the name of the school, the selection of a school mascot and a name for the selected mascot.  In previous times, semi-legal documents such as these would have gone through various levels of bureaucracy and competency to ensure all bases were covered and all CYA documents were included. However, this is not true at this time.

History

In February, 2009, the As Yet Unnamed School of One decided to open the nomenclature process to the general public. Then the student became an exchange student in Hammock and the motion was tabled.

The color khaki was selected to be the school color. This color was selected because:

  • it pretty much looks good on everybody
  • is readily available
  • comes in pants, skirts and shorts
  • allows one to personalize with favorite colors
  • is the color of most of the people of the world.

Submission Process

Interested applicants may submit their suggested names for the school and the mascot by leaving a Comment at https://hwit.wordpress.com Applicants may submit as many names as desired.

The school name and mascot selection and name will be scored separately, but should contain some commonality. While it is suggested that type and name of mascot match, it is not required.  For example, Stanford University historically turns out some of the best minds in the world in multiple fields. The mascot is a Cardinal, but a weird tree looking creature roams the sidelines and courtsides. Go figure.

School Name Selection

Selection criteria for the school name includes, but is not limited to,

  • Looks good on golf shirts
  • Easiest logo to paint on signs
  • Best fit into a school song, should there be one
  • Best rhymes with school cheers
  • Those judged under the influence of Patron or Smoking Loon.

Mascot Selection

Mascot suggestions may be real, fictional, fantasy and may be animal, vegetable or mineral. Applicants must submit a type of mascot and the name for the mascot.  For example, dog is the type of mascot while Reveille is the name of the mascot.  Got it?

Mascot Scoring Criteria

Scoring criteria include, but are not limited to,

  • If the mascot is real, where will it relieve itself and who is responsible for cleanup?
  • If the mascot is costumed, how easy is it to go to the bathroom when wearing the costume?
  • Who hot is the costume?
  • How cool is the costume? This means in terms of ventilation.
  • How cool is the costume? This is the cool factor.

The top three names for the school and the top three mascots will be selected by the committee. These will then be voted upon by the general constituency.

Contact Information

From the True Files from Form Factories

Wm B. Travis – Applicants who call and ask to speak to Mr. Travis, please note, this identifies you immediately as a newcomer to Texas. Travis is the name of the building. Mr. Travis, along with the other 185 died at The Alamo.  This automatically disqualifies you for being stupid and ill informed.

Too Stupid to Live – Should your previous applications contain sticky notes with TSTL and is filed in a drawer with the same initials, your application may still be submitted and will be scored. However, you have been labeled by one or more grant experts as Too Stupid To Live.This is due to the inability of principals, librarians, curriculum directors, instructional coaches and others who might have a role to:

  • to read
  • to write, and
  • perform addition, subtraction, multiplication and division on a sixth grade level

Review Panel

A review panel will convene as soon as a sufficient number of names have been submitted.  The review panel shall consist of:

  • A doctor, a lawyer and an Indian Chief
  • A brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess, and a criminal
  • At least two certified and certifiable public school superintendents.

Note: Applications will receive extra point is they can name the movie quoted above.  Additional points will be given if the applicant can actually name the actors who played those parts.

Disclaimers

To the radical red states, tea party followers, and far right fundamentalist no condoms or birth control topics are a part of this RFN.

Conclusion

In the event no selections are made, the school will continue to use AYUHSOO which is hard to say, doesn’t rhyme with any word in the modern English language and sounds like a sneeze. So leave a comment in the comment section.

2 responses to “Request for Names

  1. Carolyn Sue Edwards

    Scholastic Haven for Intellectual&Technology
    Socratic Hell of Institutional &Technology

    Forum o

    Academic, Sports
    dancing with the Scholars Academy Oh ____ I can only think of unrelated words. Tomorrow, I will concentrate

    Like

  2. Down Under Home School (Home of the DUHS). Mascot will be a kangaroo named Joey. Just hear the cheers — roo, roo, roo, we can beat you!! Joey will also double as water bearer, carrying water to the athletes in her pouch. The official morning greeting will be “Hiya Mate” and a cold Foster’s will be the drink of choice at lunch. The girls will call out to each other by saying “Roo, who, where are you?”. Since we consider the land down under to be a “subcontinent”, the golf team will of course be, the DUHS Subpars (and you can take that anyway you want. More to follow. I don’t like to think too much on Sundays.

    Like

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