Tuesday, August 7, 2018 – Retirement Rules for Hygiene

Tuesday, August 7, 2018 – Retirement Rules for Hygiene

I know that many of you are retired or approaching retirement. That means you getting into the “old as dirt” phase of your life. Since I am experienced in retirement, as a public service I would like to offer some rules for retirement hygiene.

Retirement Rules for Hygiene

• If you are unable to remember the last time you took a bath or shower, you probably need one. The smell you are sensing is probably you.
• Brush your teeth at least once a day especially if you cannot recall the last time you brushed. This is especially true if you have teeth.
• Change your tooth brush often. You do not know how many times the cat chewed on it.
• During the summer months – even if you sleep in gym shorts and a T-shirt, it is not appropriate to wear them to the grocery store the next day.
• During the cooler months – even if you sleep in sweat pants and a long-sleeved T-shirt, it is still not appropriate to wear the ensemble to the grocery store the next day. Just because the rest of the shoppers are in their pajamas does not mean you should be in yours.
• Never wear the same T-shirt more than three days. Two days if you slept in it. This includes short and long-sleeved shirts.
• Do not wear the same pair of socks for more than three days.
• Change your underwear at least every other day.
• Be prepared to change your underwear daily or hourly as needed.
• Ladies, remember to shave your legs even though there is no reason whatsoever to do so.

I hope you find the rules helpful. Just remember “old as dirt” does not mean you have to smell like dirt.