Friday, January 6, 2017 – Snarky Friday, Roosters and Other Duties as Assigned

Friday, January 6, 2017 – Snarky Friday, Roosters and Other Duties as Assigned

I saw on the Internet so I know it is true – that on January 4, 2007, The University of Alabama hired a guy named Nick Sabin to coach the football team. It seems to have worked out pretty well for all involved, don’t you think? Is this a state holiday? I am going with Alabama, but am not putting any money on it.

Go Jalen! Make Texas proud! I understand there is going to be an offense that it will actually be coordinated. I hope that takes away the deer in the head lights look in your eyes from last week, but I think we all know why that happened. Or did I miss the bus to Florida?

Of course, I would look so good in one of those cute hounds tooth hats like The Bear wore. Perhaps someone can pick up one for me at a Wal-Mart when the crystal football national championship trophy goes on tour. Roll Tide! SEC! SEC! SEC!

But on to the roosters. They, whoever “they” are, say one should often step outside of their comfort zone. I am certain stepping outside tomorrow in 23 degree temperatures will be totally out of my comfort zone, but there’s more. I am going to a chicken show on the campus of Texas A&M University.

Louis Pearce Pavilion. If you reach the George H. W. Bush Library you’ve gone too far.

One of the most interesting people from Magnolia, Texas is Howard Davenport or to those of us from Magnolia he is known as HowardWayne – all one name. He could make that beer commercial about the most interesting man in the world or at least the most interesting man at Henry’s Hideaway.

He now shows prize winning roosters. No chicken jokes, please. Since being Facebook and IRL friends, I have learned more about hens and roosters than I ever thought about learning. This, of course is a direct result of girls not be allowed to take agriculture courses in high school.

Tomorrow is the Bluebonnet Poultry Show. It is one of the biggest shows of its kind in Texas. When I found out HW was showing roosters (and winning lots of ribbons and trophies) and this show was in College Station I told him I wanted to come do a photo shoot. Of course this was back in July when it was 101 degrees outside.

I am very excited, however. I am not sure how it works. Is it like Project Runway where the chickens strut down a runway in awkward positions like models? Maybe it is more like a dog show where handlers in ugly shoes run around a ring while judges slowly turn to observe?

I am very confident I can handle the photography portion of the day. It is those “other duties as assigned” I am concerned about. In the intense learning curve of show poultry I learned that the model (aka rooster) must be impeccably groomed with baths and pedicures and butt washings at all times.

My previous experience with chicken’s dates back to Grandfather Poppy Faust’s in Coldwater, Louisiana some 60 odd years ago. Chickens scratch and poop. I mean, it is not like they can wipe their butt, but I am certain even without the benefit of agriculture classes I know one does not want to have a poopy butt when being judged for a prize that might involve a crown.

Other than that my only other experience with chickens is winning First Prize in the Stephen F. Austin Greek Fall Festival Chicken Calling Contest. I have many sorority sisters who were there and can vouch for it. It is also chronicled in the AXO minutes of a meeting in 1969.

So to get to the end, in spite of limited chicken experience, I promised HW I would wash the rooster’s butt at the show tomorrow. Notice HW – singular, not plural roosters or butts.

I guess I will be watching where I step out of my comfort zone tomorrow. I don’t think that shit freezes, does it?

How much money do I need for chicken shit Bingo? I suppose I should not wear a feather boa in case a hen screams “It’s Aunt Josephine” and faints.