Monthly Archives: February 2015

February 17, 2015 – Fat Tuesday – Laissez les bon temps rouler

Fat Tuesday. Laissez les bon temps rouler!  It’s Mardi Gras, ya’ll.  Mardi Gras is French for Fat Tuesday. Laissez les bon temps rouler is translated from the French as “Let the good times roll.”  This is a day or night, or all day and night filled with hardy partying.  If you show me your virtual tits, I will throw you some virtual beads. Please do not send photos, I will take your word for it.

Fat Tuesday is also a day of repentence.  The date of Fat Tuesday coincides with that of celebrations of Shrove Tuesday, from the word shrive, meaning “confess.”  What a deal. Sin on Tuesday; Confess on Wednesday.  I suppose participating in the sins serves as thinking about them.

But tonight at the stroke of midnight it all comes to a screeching, confession-oriented halt as Fat Tuesday morphs into Ash Wednesday.  Ash Wednesday marks the beginning of the holy season for Christians.  I can never recall if Ash Wednesday is a day of abstinence from meat or not.  I sent a Friend Request to PF (Pope Francis), asking, but he has not responded. So I had to Google it.  It appears that if a creature walks on legs, it is not to be consumed on Ash Wednesday.

My favorite is when the priests and ministers stand on the street corner at the stop light.  You stick you head out of the window and receive your ashes all before the light turns green. I am not sure if this level of ashes distribution has progressed to the BV. It was a big deal in Austin and surrounding areas.

But that is tomorrow. For today – Wear a brightly colored mask with feathers and sequins, overturn social conventions and let the good times roll.

Friday, February 13, 2015 – Snarky Friday 13th – Broken Washing Machine Blues

I got the broken washing machine, gonna kill the repairman blues, yes I do, now yes I do,

I got the broken washing machine, gonna kill the repairman blues, oh yeah, yes indeed,

I’m gonna take my clothes to the Brazos River and beat them over a rock, it’s true, ‘cause

I got the broken washing machine, gonna kill the repairman blues, yes I do. Hear me now.

So if I ask if I can come see ya’, I’m bringing my laundry too,

Thank goodness I’ve got plenty of underwear and other clothes that will do, ‘cause

I got the broken washing machine, gonna kill the repairman blues.  Yes I do.

Don’t want to buy me a new one; hope you get this one fixed on Tuesday,

You done been here twice and you ordered the wrong part,

Now this time it better come true, ‘cause

I got the broken washing machine, gonna kill the repairman blues, yes I do. Ohhhh yeaaaahhh!

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Well, I’m sure that attempt at music and poetry made Don Jeter, Wanda Traugh and Marge Burnside all proud.

Thursday, February 12, 2015 – David Crews – RIP

I hope you had the honor and privilege of meeting David Crews from Montgomery County. David passed away this week after a long life of public service.  I noticed in his obituary he was listed as a raconteur.  I have the feminine version, raconteuse, on my business card. David is the only person I knew that would know the meaning of that word off the top of his head. David was indeed a raconteur.  One wanted to sit and listen to David’s stories for hours.

If anybody deserves being buried in the State Cemetery, with the heroes and heroines from Texas, it is you, David.  Anybody who walks those grounds knows that only those who made history are remembered there.  I wonder what you will have on your headstone.  You would probably put something like “One of the last Democrats in Montgomery County.”  You should put something like “One of the Best Texans and People Ever!”  You will be missed.

Monday, February 9, 2015 – Bless Me Father, For I Have Sinned

Bless Me Father, for I have sinned. This weekend I had brunch at Brennen’s in Houston and ate the most decadent eggs benedict.  Of course they were preceded by a bloody Mary.  And of course, I had bananas foster. I went to Brennen’s. One cannot go and not have bananas foster.   No, I am not at the sinning part yet.  Then I went to see the Broadway play Book of Mormon and laughed and marveled at the entire performance.  I have seen and heard worse on cable TV. No, having cable TV is not the sin. I am getting to the sinning part.

I have succumbed to the slings and arrows of outrageous misfortune and capitulated to the social media peer pressure and joined Face Book.  I still feel the same about the technology.  It is a waste of time and energy, not to mention the last shred of any privacy you might have had, is now for anyone with an Internet connection to see, hear and steal.

Within 48 hours of logging on, somebody found me.  Even BFF Luddite sent a text asking if I had joined. And now my mailbox is filling with friend requests.   Thank you.  I appreciate them and I will get to them.   Here’s a bit of the back story.

Last March my Ash Wednesday, Lenten commitment was to write an essay every day for the 40 days of Lent.  Turns out Lent is really longer than 40 days, so I had to continue from Ash Wednesday to Easter.  I began a blog called Here’s What I’m Thinking.  Do you know how hard it is to write and publish over 200 posts?  Of course with the Texas Legislature in town, it has become somewhat easier since there is so much material.

A few people actually read the daily paragraphs.  Thank goodness football season began and in the fall I began posting to Twitter and people actually began to follow and Retweet.  So in order to reach another audience, I connected Here’s What I’m Thinking to Facebook.   In some respects, I am taking a techno step backwards.

So here’s the deal.  You read my daily writings and I will complete your friend requests.   The majority of the writings are done in parody and satire.  You are supposed to laugh.  Sometimes I do put on my doctor hat and write something serious and use multisyllabic words with long pedantic, Faulknerian sentences.

The usual content centers on college athletics – football and basketball, Texas Aggie athletics, politics, the educational institution and living in the state of Texas.  Remember, the goal of a writer is to evoke emotion.  The reader gets to define the emotion.  Oh yeah, at some point I will write about you.  So consider yourself warned.

What? Ash Wednesday is NEXT Wednesday?  It is not this week? You mean I have to do the whole confession thing again next week?   And there is still one more Friday night steak?  Saints Behold!

Good Morning, Class,

Today we will explore our interdisciplinary thoughts by wasting instructional time and conducting our weekly practice for the assessment.   Our assessment today is based on the weekly question posed to the Texas and United States governments “What Have You Done for the Citizens of Texas this Week?”

Ready? Number two pencils up? Begin!

Question One – Ranking or Ordering

Rank the following in order with number one representing the MOST and number seven representing the LEAST embarrassing to Texas this week.

Molly White – Texas House of Representative who said the group organizing Muslim Day at the Capitol had terrorists’ ties.

Ted Cruz –U. S. Senator from Texas for his strategy of blocking a vote on President Barack Obama’s attorney general nominee until the White House relents on immigration. His own GOP colleagues voted against him.

Lance Armstrong – for side swiping a car while under the influence and then blaming it on his girlfriend.

Johnny Manziel – will he trademark Johnny Rehab?

The leader of Open Carry Tarrant County – for indirectly threatening death for those who did not approve a proposed measure allowing Texans to openly carry handguns in public.

The measles outbreak.

Rick Perry and his team of lawyers – still trying to get the charges dismissed.

Question Two – Writing Portion

Write a 250 word essay explaining why the Texas Land Commissioner is leading the education protesters.  For extra credit, write a protest song about it.  We all know that land commissioners in Texas grow more than agricultural crops on the land.  It grows Bushes too.

Thursday, February 5, 2015 – Bruce Jenner

Bruce Jenner can be whoever he wants to be as far as I am concerned.  If I had to deal with the Kardashians I would go into a witness protection program too. But I do have a question.  He won the gold medal in the decathlon at the 1976 Summer Olympics held in Montreal. Will she be eligible to participate in the decathlon at the Senior Games?

Wednesday, February 4, 2015 – National Signing Day

The ink is dry on the fax machine (See archaic method of communication). The recruit is signed.  For the sports’ challenged, today is National Signing Day.  It is where eighteen year old young men make life altering decisions for themselves and their families by signing a letter of intent to play football with a college or university.  So here’s to all the young men who signed a contractual agreement.  Take advantage of the opportunities that await you. Work hard and learn much. And to Kyler Murray and Daylon Mack and all of the others headed to College Station – Here’s a Big Whooping Thank You!  Welcome to Texas A&M.