Tag Archives: Texas Fair foods

Wednesday, August 16, 2017 – Our State Fair is a Great State Fair But the Food is High Suspect

Wednesday, August 16, 2017 – Our State Fair is a Great State Fair But the Food is High Suspect

Let’s take a break from the horrid world happenings and go to the State Fair.

Our State Fair is a great state fair Don’t Miss it don’t even be late (our state fair is great) It’s dollars to doughnuts at our state fair It’s the best state fair in the state!


I am not sure what kind vehicle Pat Boone is driving in Rogers and Hammerstein’s musical State Fair. But Dallas to donuts he is obviously not going to the Texas State Fair because Texans don’t drive miniature cars.

The State Fair of Texas is held in Dallas and runs from September 29 through October 22.

Native Texan Birth Certificate; two pictures of Willie Nelson (He’s not dead), a Texas Flag and copy of Texas Monthly signed by Ann Richards, the last Democratic governor of Texas.

A tenet of state fairs is food or something that resembles food and is somewhat edible. So assemble your antacids, cholesterol meds, find the nearest toilet and let us see what frying at the State Fair of Texas.

The following lists the finalists for the State of Texas foods and my comments about each one with the overall questions of “why would you do this to ingredients?” and “why would you ingest this?”

  • Ranch Fried Texas Sheet Cake – how does Ranch Fried differ from Deep Fried? Is it fried in Ranch Valley Dressing or do you have to be on a ranch to fry it?
  • Deep Fried Chicken Noodle Soup on a Stick – I am unable to comprehend. Fried soup? And on a stick?
  • Deep Fried Froot (sic) Loops – was never a Fruit Loop fan; perhaps it is Froot. I do not know what a Froot is.
  • Funnel Cake Bacon Queso Burger – Bacon queso burger sounds ok, but in a funnel cake?
  • Gulf Coast Fish Bowl – A bowl of what from the Gulf Coast? Alligator gar?
  • Pinot Noir Popcorn – This is just wrong.
  • Fat Smooth – A Fat Smooth what?
  • Surfin-Turfin Tator Boat – has a nice rhythm – “surfin-turfin tator boat, doo dah, doo dah.” How exactly are surfin and turfin defined? Alligator and armadillo?
  • Texas Fajita Fries – This has potential.
  • The Tamale Donut – Why screw up two really good things?

As a Brazos Valley Girl (Remember Valley Girls?) “Gag me with a silver spoon.”