Here's What I'm Thinking

The As Yet Unnamed Home School of One is Back in Session

The As Yet Unnamed Home School of One is back in session this week.  Like many home schools much of our curriculum is community oriented and with real world outcomes.  Oops, sorry that sound way too much like out-come-based learning which is part of the State Board of Education’s  anti federal government plan.

On Monday, the AYUHSOO Golf team participated in the First of Greater Austin Golf Tournament at Lost Pines Resort in Bastrop.  Not only was a significant amount of money raised for the First Tee, take a look at who I caddied for.

Many of you recognize the former Lady Longhorn basketball coach, Jody Conradt.  She is a delightful person and pretty darn good golfer.

At the same event I had a photo snapped with former University of Texas All American  baseball player, Huston Street. He is currently with the Colorado Rockies as closing pitcher.

He served as Honorary Chair of the Event and is just a hottie.

On Tuesday, I had to recoup. I don’t remember Wednesday, but Thursday was Veterans Day.  I hope you took notice.  By then it was Friday and I was so anxious about Saturday I could not sit still.  Besides it is difficult to coordinate a maroon and white and green and gold ensemble.

On Saturday night I saw two great teams compete. Baylor and Texas A&M.  Usually, these two teams hold up the cellar of the Big 12, but things are different this year and these are two teams to watch in future. Baylor won the first half and Texas A&M won the second half.  Unfortunately, that is the half that counts. Big Aggie Whoop!

The next day it was back to Austin and time for the Home School to begin again.  So let’s begin with a little warm up essay about the trip home.

I am not certain why Central Texas needs a Formula One Race track.  I mean there is a perfectly good and even more exciting race track in existence.  It is called Interstate 35. Yesterday as I drove back from Waco I experienced being an integral part of my own personal video game of Donkey Kong. SUVs of every make, model, color and year were racing in and out among the 18 wheelers. There were barricades to the left creating a two- lane race track with no shoulders to the right. Trucks of every size and capacity hauled trailers carrying animals or yard equipment or other large items in a wheeled trailer dragging behind their vehicle. I enjoy playing the Get Your Wheels Out of My Lane game.

I especially liked the trailer being pulled behind a vintage car. Both seemed to have been pulled around since Reagan was President. And did I mention the eight motorcyclists on crotch rockets whizzing past at speeds greater than 100 mph? I know this because of my speed.

I was glad to exit to the toll road to slow down to 70 mph.  But here’s what I’m thinking. Why do we need another race track? How about instead some yard chairs, a few food trailers and several porta potties placed periodically along I-35. Maybe some bleachers at a few selected intersections and entry ramps? I am certain the 500 yard entry ramps can cause some spectacular results as cars try to merge into traffic bearing down at 85 mph. I can hit a golf ball farther than some of the entry ramps.

Oh well, what do I know? Maybe we do need a fancy race track and not the trees. Maybe we do need to pave the countryside and pollute the air.

Nevertheless, sit back and catch up with the ASYHSOO this week starting with Happy Days. Tuesday, watch for a Professional Development design for the new United States Congressmen, and on Wednesday, the school will practice its assessment by writing a paragraph on How the Aggies Can Win the Big 12 South. And late in the week new, important information will be posted regarding the Request for the Names of the school and mascot.

On “the 11th day of the 11th hour of the 11th month” . . . and all of the days, hours and months thereafter, I thank you for the freedom and peace you bring to my world.

Honor a veteran today and always.

Veterans’ Day, 2010

WEEKEND UPDATE

Thong Cyclist

NEWS FLASH – a man wearing nothing but an iridescent thong and a smile has been seen riding a bicycle along Far West Blvd. in Northwest Austin. The ASUNHSOO was on lock down.  The principal, doing her civic and community-minded duty, waited an hour at the Starbucks anxiously looking out the window to see the cyclist. However, there was no sighting.  Those who reported seeing the cyclist state “he wears different colored thongs.” Other than that there appears to be very little physical description.

http://roadid.posterous.com/twitter-tuesday-best-photo-caption-of-this-au

Leave It to Beaver

On a sad note, Barbara Billingsly passed away. Our beloved June Cleaver. So let’s get our pearls, put on a dress, high heels and vacuum the floor while the cookies are baking.

http://mythbusters.tvsquad.com/2010/10/16/barbara-billingsley-leave-it-to-beaver-mom-dead-at-94/

Weekend update from the Glow Ball Golf Tournament

The ASUNHSOO golf team played in a glow ball golf tournament Saturday night. There were eight teams of four. The format was best ball. Each player in the foursome received three glow balls. These golf balls are transparent and have a one inch glow stick inserted. I am not certain why this is called glow ball.  A more fitting name would be “@#$%, it is DARK out here!”  While one could see the balls upon teeing off, after that it was pretty much get out the flashlights.

There was no depth perception so it was difficult to see how far to hit, what club to use, and how to use it. Hitting out of the grass is difficult enough, but to not be able to see the grass makes the shot almost impossible.  What was impossible was putting in the dark.  While the flag stick had a small glow stick and the hole itself had a very small glow bracelet, one putted blindly in the dark.  The rules stated that one could use their flashlight to find the ball, but upon finding it, the flashlight was to be turned off. I can’t putt in the daytime! Nevertheless, somehow my team made four pars. Yours truly placed closest to the pin on Hole 8 and won a lovely set of wine glasses. Overall, we placed fourth, missing third by a single stroke.

Last, but not least. Tomorrow,  October 19, the Request for Names (RFN) will be released. So put on your Thinking Cap. It is time to suggest names for the As Yet Unnamed Home School of One.

Happy Columbus Day

A day to celebrate the first immigrants to America.  Columbus was the quintessential bureaucrat and politician.  He did not know where he was going.  He did not know where he was when he got there and he did it all on borrowed money. Furthermore, he “ran off” the natives and took the land, all in the name of the government.

The ASUNHSOO is off today celebrating the day. However, this news release is just in.

NEWS RELEASE – October, XI, MMX

The State Board of Education mandated to textbook publishers that all science and math textbooks will now use Roman Numerals in stead of Arabic.

“…the use of Arabic numbers denote a positive attitude toward Islam,” said board member Iona Faith. “Because Arabs are Muslims, and Muslims practice Islam, and some radical Islamites are terrorists.  Therefore, we are protecting the boys and girls from terrorists.”

Rooty Toot Toot & Sons textbooks publishers asked “Wasn’t it the Romans who persecuted the Christians and actually tried and crucified Jesus?”

Ms. Faith answered, “Yes, but that is in the Bible, so it is acceptable.”

Textbook publisher, Brother-in-law & Kickback, stated “This comes as no surprise to our publishing organization.  The use of Roman numerals will compliment our chapter on turning lead into gold and our chapter on the sun orbiting the earth.”

Random Writings – Friday

Two assignments are due today.  One is the current event and the other is your science paper.

Let’s do the current event first.

Prompt: Tell about a current event in pop culture

Dancing With the Stars Update

• Hasselloff – off
• Michael – bolted
• Cho – go
• Palin – ailing (she finished in the bottom two behind Margaret Cho)

And now your science paper.

Cat Flat

I have a cat named Buddy.  His official name is Buddy T. Cat with the “T” standing for The.  Recently, Buddy became ill and had to have a visit from the mobile veterinarian and medicine to be given twice daily. This is what is wrong with the health care system.  Buddy’s home doctor visit for his health care was $500.  My long term care policy is $2000, but that is another story.

Shortly after his medicinal intake began I noticed a definite change. The medicine gives him gas.  First of all, I was not aware that cats perform this bodily function. Nevertheless feline flatulence exists. These are silent, eye-watering, gag-reflexing, room clearing, near deadly passages of gas.  There’s nothing like being riveted to a TV program and suddenly the room fills with odorous aromas potent enough to wake the dead. My favorite is the morning wake-up call.  His butt is usually pointed at my face. I awake to a foul smelling odor that is strong enough to rouse the dead, heal the sick and make the blind see. It is better than any alarm clock to get you out of bed.

If I could harness this gas, I am certain I could invent something that would be Nobel worthy.  But how does one capture and store feline farts? And what uses would there be for cat flatulence?  One current possibility could be for military use.  I guarantee a couple of tear gas canisters laced with feline farts will clear the caves of Al Qaeda if not the next village.

Perhaps I will do my science fair project on this topic.  Maybe Miss Lillian will judge.

Until then I will have to endure Fluffy the Farting Feline.