Category Archives: Uncategorized

Monday, January 12, 2015  – Happy Birthday!

Another birthday to celebrate! Today is my sister’s birthday.  Here is a piece of cake for you. Happy Birthday.

Today was also Molly’s birthday.  I went to all twelve grades of school with Molly and some of my favorite childhood and high school memories were with Molly.  Since my birthday is tomorrow, Molly and I celebrated birthdays together throughout those years. As time passed she was never out of my thoughts on these two days.

Here are a couple of pictures from our thirteenth birthday.  I wish we could have celebrated birthdays together this year.  Miss you, Miss Molly!

Saturday, January 10, 2015 – Happy Birthday, RL!

Happy Birthday to my friend, RL!

Remember the old radio days when you could call into a radio station and dedicate a song to some one?

Well, Mr. L, I would like to dedicate this song to you for your birthday, as you and all of the others prepare for the 144 days to come.

“Here we come
Walkin’ down the street
We get the funniest looks from
Every one we meet

Hey, hey, we’re The Monkees
And people say we monkey around
But we’re too busy singing
To put anybody down.”

The 84th session of the Texas Legislature begins Tuesday, January 13, 2015.

“God Bless Texas” Bob Bullock

BOOM!

GOTCHA!

VIVA LA FRANCE!

Tuesday, January 6, 2015 – The Morning After Assessment

Good Time Zone Class,

Before we continue and hear the most anticipated conclusions of The Decline and Fall of Practically Everybody Who Played in an NCAA Football Bowl Game, let’s waste most of the allotted time practicing assessment, rather than conducting instruction. Are there any questions? Yes?

Of course, there is an assessment.  This is Texas education. Where are you from? Donde esta you country?

Question # 1 – What color was the ESPN share of the pie? Red is correct.

Question # 2 – What is R. Loftin Bowen’s profession? That is correct. Dr. Bowen is a physicist.

Very good. As you recall, we were discussing the propensity of the population sampled that were founded as Land Grant institutions of higher education. Ready, pencils up?

The Morrill Land Grant Acts are important because of the following three components.

(1) The emphasis of study – AKA the Curriculum – shifted from the classical studies models used in Europe and continued by the East Coast colleges and universities.  There is nothing wrong with a classical education.  It can be a tremendous asset in games involving trivia and other useless information. Unfortunately it can result in knowing who invented the washing machine, but the inability to repair one.

(2) It was the first time educational institutions got financial support from the government. Yes, that would be the FEDERAL one.  There seems to be an emerging pattern that this is the same group of states that have had trouble with the federal government before.

(3) There was a required military component in the curriculum.

Thoughts, Factoids, Outcomes, Conclusions and Recommendations

• There are more green colors, land grant schools, on the chart that any other. I have no idea what it means. If you want to know the statistical probability of that happening, go hang out at the Asian Cultural Center. They can probably do the statistics in their heads.
• Michigan State was the first Land Grant School. It became the prototype for the other land grant schools.
• Hail Mary passes only work for Catholic schools. For Baptist and other protestant public founded institutions, like Baylor and Alabama respectively, Hail Mary passes are ineffective.
• The educational founding of Florida State University is and was controversial. However, it was one of the first schools to accept a diverse population. Women were allowed as early as 1901. In the 1960’s it was known as “the Berkley of the South.” It had one of the first female Rhodes scholars. Today, it has a large number of Rhodes scholars. Its academic prowess aligns with those such as Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Rice and those types. Therefore, how did Jameis Winston get in? The school also claims to have invented streaking. Perhaps there is a link there.
• The Latin Motto of Oregon University is “Mind moves the Mass.” It could just as easily have been The Mind Moves the Masses. The people who founded Oregon, the state and eventually the university, walked, rode a horse, role a mule, took a donkey, took a wagon, fought the Indians across uncharted territory and did whatever they had to do as they traveled on what would become The Oregon Trail. People also came to Oregon by boat. You ever see what is west of the West Coast? Water. These folks are rugged, confident, take no prisoners, stay calm and paddle like hell type of people. The campus of Oregon University was the setting of National Lampoon’s Animal House. Cool! Food Fight!
• The OHIO State University – what is that shitty little sticker on your helmets? A buckeye leaf or seed? A pot leaf? What? Further study is recommended.
• There are way too many bowl games!
• The NCAA has lost its mind.
• Tighten bowl eligibility requirements.
• I only care about Texas A&M University.
• Does college football really need a bowl game in Dubai? It’s on the books with dates to be determined. No kidding!

Friday, January 2, 2015 – The Twilight Zone

To paraphrase the late, Jerry Garcia and The Grateful Dead – What a long strange year it has been – and it is only a few hours old.

I have a college football bowl hangover and am still processing just the games from yesterday. Who remembers the ABC Wide World of Sports tagline “The thrill of victory and the agony of defeat?” Right now the winners are: ESPN, Chick-Filet and Larry Culpepper, the Dr. Pepper soda guy.

But let’s rewind to New Year’s Eve. If you recall, the Computer, whose name, btw is Toshiba, was quite ill and taking over my life.  It was contaminated with Adware, Malware, What the Kardashians Wear and more equally bad things. But I am getting ahead of myself.

I actually stayed up until midnight. Just before the New Year rang in, I watched an episode of The Twilight Zone on the marathon of the same name on the SyFy Channel. It was and still is an incredible TV program.  I could go on about the merits of the show, but suffice to say it is an all-time favorite and I have probably seen every episode multiple times.

The episode just before midnight was an episode from 1961 that starred Burgess Meredith (Go to Google) on trial by The State for being “obsolete.” He is sentenced to death which is televised to the masses as a warning.  (Think Hunger Games, Divergent, dystopian society) His occupation? A Librarian.  The State was represented by an individual (very Hitlerian and Stalininist in nature and demeanor, but with no facial hair) who tries and convicts the librarian. As in so many episodes, irony is a major component.  Meredith uses his knowledge and tricks the representative of The State who then goes on trial and is sentenced to death. His crime? Inability to function in society according to The State rules.  

On New Year’s Day, I take Toshiba the Computer, to Dr. Geek Squad. Dr. Geek’s recommendation is to have Dr. Geek Squad Specialists repair via a remote takeover of my computer in the luxury of my home with an Internet connection.

So while Florida State was being smashed by The Oregon Attack Ducks, I turned my computer over to someone, somewhere probably named HAL, for repair.  It was really, creepy and trippy and yet exciting to watch your computer being controlled from an unknown Agent of cyber space. For about three hours he (I knew his name and alleged gender because I was in a chat room with him – part of the creepiness), but he removed programs and cleaned my computer. No, I did not have to sit for the entire three hours, but you could watch everything that was being done. You had no control over what was happening. It was as though ‘it was from another dimension; from another place and another time; in a society where the individual has no thoughts and is controlled by an unknown authority. Next stop – The Twilight Zone.”

And then the final message window verifying that the process was completed popped up.  It read:

“You may now resume control of your regularly scheduled computing.”

Yep – you can hear The Twilight Zone music, can’t you?

Wednesday, December 31, 2014 – Good-bye Twenty Fourteen

Good-bye twenty-fourteen. Not to be confused with Good-bye Yellow Brick Road by Sir Elton John.  However, the rhythmic, pentameter works for both.

It is me again – THE COMPUTER.  The humanoid has still not taken me to see Dr. Geek Squad.  So you should be wearing rubber or latex gloves if you are reading this last entry for 2014. The humanoid tried to reason with me that it HAD to have me to conduct certain tasks before the end of the year and could not let me go until today.  Sounds like the humanoid has an illness and malware too. But the humanoid promised it would be today as soon as I was backed up.

This is what the humanoid wanted posted for the last day of the year 2014:

Like Coach Kevin Sumlin, I am embarrassed for one of my alma maters, but as Ron White says “Can’t fix stupid.”  I give the assistant, The Woody Hayes Award.  Now, get the incident off of YOUTUBE, Yahoo, ESPN, and all social media and let us get on to next year.

Betcha. Betcha THE University of Texas and Oklahoma University never imagined the entire pride of The Big Twelve Conference would rest with Baylor and TCU.  Are you at a Deloss for words, Texas?

SIC ‘EM BEARS!!! AND FEAR THE FROG!

But onward thru the fog (Oat Willies’) and to politics.

Soon the state of Texas will have a new governor and a new administration. This was reported in the Dallas Morning news and other media four days ago. “Plum jobs going to Perry aides.” Duh! This is similar to when the late, wonderful Marvin Zindler noted that “Texas has a whorehouse in it,” referring to The, also late, Chicken Ranch.  And a paraphrase from the always funny, Best Little Whorehouse in Texas, “That comes as a surprise to any child still in diapers and four tourists from New Jersey.”

But as The Eagles sing “There’s a New Kid in Town.”  I am certain the ADA carpenters are busy this New Year’s holiday. I hope they are legal immigrants.  I wonder if the either of the Castro Brothers are interested in a bumper sticker that reads “Abbott and Patrick.  Making the state blue, one roll at a time.”

OK – I will be nice for the last entry. Here’s to the New Year.  Next year focus on this as stated by Honeyboy Duffey:

1. Tell at least one person per day that you appreciate them.
2. Whatever it is, if you have faith, it will all work out.
3. And whatever the situation, there is always lots to be thankful for.

Watch for both me and THE COMPUTER next year with new stuff.