Monday, November 9, 2020 – It’s the Monday After College Football Awards
First, let me apologize for no Snarky Friday. Like many, I was strung out, stressed and worthless due to the long OT of the election. Now it is time to heal and remember that we are all Americans. “The needs of the many out way the needs of the few,” so says Spock.
Now to the awards ceremony.
COVID 2 – Purdue and Wisconsin – 0
From the Big 12…
Let’s just give the entire Conference The Lantern Award because ain’t nobody shining bright from this group.
Baylor 31 – Iowa State 38 – To Baylor I award the Annie Award because it’s a hard knock life. Here, have a cigar for being close.
THE University of Texas 17 University of West Virgina 13 – I am giving THE University a Celebrate Whatever You Can Award with your self-named “defensive victory” for holding West Virginia to 13 points and your rise in the AP Poll from 22 to 21.
Liberty 38 Virginia Tech 35 – The Hokies (whatever that is) receive the Miss Stakes Award for screwing up and giving the Freezing Liberty Pool Boys the victory. Actually, the Liberty mascot is “The Flame.” I’ll save that one to see in which bowl game Liberty plays.
Florida 44 Georgia 28 -The Gators receive the William T. Sherman Award because they chomped and marched through Georgia like a tank convoy. Georgia falls to AP Number 12.
Houston 10 Cincinnati 38 – I award Cincy the WKRP Award. Remind me again, where did you come from? Have not seen you around until recently.
Mississippi State 24 Vanderbilt 17 – To Mississippi State I award the Margin Award for only being marginally better than Vanderbilt. To Mississippi State Coach, Mike Leach, I award the Meaningless and Fabled Metaphor Award for saying about this the State Team:
“The chicken is involved but the pig is committed.”
Do you say that to Arkansas and South Carolina, Mike? That is a picture from 2019, from Washington State, but it really works for the Mississippi State Season.
Texas A&M 48 South Carolina 3 – It is a good Mond morning. I award the Aggies the WHO Award, as in “Who Are You? I really want to know.” I also award the Aggies with a High FIVE Award as in Number Five in the AP Poll.
To South Carolina I award the Sanderson Chicken Farm and Processing Plant Award. Please note that I am calling PETA to get that screaming chicken to shut up. And don’t be bringing that bird to Kyle Field!
And in the big game of Clemson 40 and Notre Dame 47 in Double OT – I award The Alabama Crimson Tide First Place in the AP and they didn’t have to play a down.
Of course, fans of Clemson and ND receive a Poopy Undies Award for double Overtime. And while we are down there, I award the University of Notre Dame the Asparagus Pee Colored Helmet Award! I hope the TIDE washes that away.
November 11th is Veterans Day. Honor and thank them for our freedom.