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Wednesday, February 18, 2015 – Ash Wednesday

Wednesday, February 18, 2015 – Ash Wednesday

Today is Ash Wednesday.  You know what that means? March Madness is just around the corner. No, no, no.  It has nothing to do with basketball. Nor does it signify that the priests and nun stayed up all night smoking cigars and playing cards as my cousins always said. It is the beginning of the Lenten Season which ends with Easter.  So if your faith is based in a kneeler religion, you are probably celebrating Ash Wednesday in some way.

Last year Ash Wednesday was in March.  One year ago on Ash Wednesday, my commitment for Lent was that I would write something every day and I am proud of myself for doing so.  If you are so inclined, (aka bored, with nothing to do) you can enter a term in the search engine on the right of the blog and go back and relive the thrilling days of last year.

Here is Last Year’s Day One Post

Lent 2014 Day One Today is March 5, 2014, Ash Wednesday. Ash Wednesday is the first day of Lent in the Western Christian calendar, directly following Shrove Tuesday. Occurring 46 days before Easter, it is a moveable feast that can fall as early as February 4 and as late as March 10. According to the canonical gospels of Matthew, Mark and Luke, Jesus Christ spent 40 days fasting in the desert, where he endured temptation by Satan. Ash Wednesday marks the beginning of this 40-day liturgical period of prayer and fasting or abstinence. Of the 46 days until Easter, six are Sundays. As the Christian designation of Sabbath, Sundays are not included in the fasting period and are instead “feast” days during Lent. Ash Wednesday derives its name from the practice of placing ashes (formally called The Imposition of Ashes) on the foreheads of adherents as a celebration and reminder of human mortality, and as a sign of mourning and repentance to God. The ashes used are typically gathered from the burning of the palms from the previous year’s Palm Sunday. That is the Wikipedia version. But I figured if Jesus could spend 40 days in the wilderness, no GPS, no cable TV, no Net flicks, no McDonald’s, and then I could write a page every day. I mean He was out there getting tempted by Satan. So here it goes. Contrary to what my cousins used to say, the ashes are not derived from the priests and nuns smoking cigars. Each day until Easter, I will sit and write something that fills one horizontal 8×10 sheet. If you watch The Big Bang Theory, you see that the creator of the series, Chuck Lorre, ends each program with a single par graphical page. That is where I got the idea. So meatless today – Ash Wednesday and all Fridays, writing one page per day. I pretty much have the abstinence part covered.

Today is also a day of remembrance.

Randall Edwin (Honeyboy) Duffey

B: August 17, 1907

D:  February 18, 2000

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Dazed and Confused Postings

Obviously I need to put away the bottle.  I have no idea how Monday’s entry is before Tuesday’s.   Oh well.  Carry on regardless.

Monday, February 16, 2015 – Halo. Stat You? President’s Day

Monday, February 16, 2015 – Halo. Stat You?  President’s Day

It is President’s Day. Here is a photo to celebrate.  One does no often get this angle.  I took this photo on July 9, 1986. Who was the POTUS when the United States received the Statue of Liberty?

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Who was the POTUS when I took the photograph?

Grover Cleveland was the POTUS when the US received the statue from France.

Ronald Reagan was the POTUS in 1986.

February 17, 2015 – Fat Tuesday – Laissez les bon temps rouler

February 17, 2015 – Fat Tuesday – Laissez les bon temps rouler

 

Fat Tuesday. Laissez les bon temps rouler!  It’s Mardi Gras, ya’ll.  Mardi Gras is French for Fat Tuesday. Laissez les bon temps rouler is translated from the French as “Let the good times roll.”  This is a day or night, or all day and night filled with hardy partying.  If you show me your virtual tits, I will throw you some virtual beads. Please do not send photos, I will take your word for it.

Fat Tuesday is also a day of repentence.  The date of Fat Tuesday coincides with that of celebrations of Shrove Tuesday, from the word shrive, meaning “confess.”  What a deal. Sin on Tuesday; Confess on Wednesday.  I suppose participating in the sins serves as thinking about them.

But tonight at the stroke of midnight it all comes to a screeching, confession-oriented halt as Fat Tuesday morphs into Ash Wednesday.  Ash Wednesday marks the beginning of the holy season for Christians.  I can never recall if Ash Wednesday is a day of abstinence from meat or not.  I sent a Friend Request to PF (Pope Francis), asking, but he has not responded. So I had to Google it.  It appears that if a creature walks on legs, it is not to be consumed on Ash Wednesday.

My favorite is when the priests and ministers stand on the street corner at the stop light.  You stick you head out of the window and receive your ashes all before the light turns green. I am not sure if this level of ashes distribution has progressed to the BV. It was a big deal in Austin and surrounding areas.

But that is tomorrow. For today – Wear a brightly colored mask with feathers and sequins, overturn social conventions and let the good times roll.

Friday, February 13, 2015 – Snarky Friday 13th – Broken Washing Machine Blues

Friday, February 13, 2015 – Snarky Friday 13th – Broken Washing Machine Blues

I got the broken washing machine, gonna kill the repairman blues, yes I do, now yes I do,

I got the broken washing machine, gonna kill the repairman blues, oh yeah, yes indeed,

I’m gonna take my clothes to the Brazos River and beat them over a rock, it’s true, ‘cause

I got the broken washing machine, gonna kill the repairman blues, yes I do. Hear me now.

So if I ask if I can come see ya’, I’m bringing my laundry too,

Thank goodness I’ve got plenty of underwear and other clothes that will do, ‘cause

I got the broken washing machine, gonna kill the repairman blues.  Yes I do.

Don’t want to buy me a new one; hope you get this one fixed on Tuesday,

You done been here twice and you ordered the wrong part,

Now this time it better come true, ‘cause

I got the broken washing machine, gonna kill the repairman blues, yes I do. Ohhhh yeaaaahhh!

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Well, I’m sure that attempt at music and poetry made Don Jeter, Wanda Traugh and Marge Burnside all proud.

 

 

 

Thursday, February 12, 2015 – David Crews – RIP

Thursday, February 12, 2015 – David Crews – RIP

I hope you had the honor and privilege of meeting David Crews from Montgomery County. David passed away this week after a long life of public service.  I noticed in his obituary he was listed as a raconteur.  I have the feminine version, raconteuse, on my business card. David is the only person I knew that would know the meaning of that word off the top of his head. David was indeed a raconteur.  One wanted to sit and listen to David’s stories for hours.

If anybody deserves being buried in the State Cemetery, with the heroes and heroines from Texas, it is you, David.  Anybody who walks those grounds knows that only those who made history are remembered there.  I wonder what you will have on your headstone.  You would probably put something like “One of the last Democrats in Montgomery County.”  You should put something like “One of the Best Texans and People Ever!”  You will be missed.

Wednesday, February 11, 2015 – Pete Fountain – Trivia Wednesday

Wednesday, February 11, 2015 – Pete Fountain – Trivia Wednesday

Our trivia question today is – Who is Pete Fountain?

Remember when I moved to Bryan/College Station (BCS) – aka Brazos Valley (BV) and I was dehoarding the house? Look back around last summer in the blog for details.  But I was getting rid of stuff.  But I am pretty sure all this family passed down, don’t throw me away, I could be valuable, ephemera somehow breeds and produces offspring ephemera because there just seems to be more.  For example, I found this photograph this morning in a box.  It is an autographed photo of Pete Fountain.  On the reverse – it says Jan – 1967 in a woman’s script.

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OK – I am going to take a WAG – Wild Ass Guess – and say this photograph is probably from CPD – Crap Passed Down and belonged to Aunt Myrnie. Or as we suspect, it could have belonged to her husband.  I am really not seeing either one of them tossing their under wear on stage in New Orleans, but hey it was NOLA.

I think it safe to say the photograph did not belong to me.  I am not seeing my mother allowing me to go to New Orleans for what would have been my eighteenth birthday.

But if anyone out there wants a signed picture of Pete Fountain, let me know.

Pete Fountain (born Pierre Dewey LaFontaine, Jr., July 3, 1930), is an American clarinetist based in New Orleans. He has played jazz, Dixieland and Creole music.

Tuesday, February 10, 2015 – DON’T MESS WITH TEXAS

Tuesday, February 10, 2015 – DON’T MESS WITH TEXAS

To the Congressman, Alcee Hasting – D- Florida:

http://abc13.com/politics/florida-congressman-calls-texas-crazy/507739/

“I don’t know about in your state, which I think is a crazy state to begin with,” said Hastings. “And I mean that just as I said it.” “You will wait until hell freezes over for me to say anything in an apology. I would apologize to you if I was directing my comments to you. I was commenting about the state you happen to live in and I will not apologize.”

You said WHAT? Politics be damned. This is about HONOR and you impugning the state of Texas by calling it crazy.  Call out the Daughters of the Republic of Texas! Call up the Texas Rangers!  Remember the Alamo!

Don’t Mess With Texas is not just a sign on the side of the road.  It is not just a TV commercial.  It is a state of mind that goes back further than you will ever understand.  You just pissed off an entire state.  A state that is unique from the other 50. Texans can call the state crazy, but you cannot.  We are proud of our crazy people. In fact, we make movies about our crazy people.

Have you ever been to Texas, Mr. Former Federal Judge, who was impeached? You just united every redneck from The Pine Curtain to El Paso.  There is an army of pick-up trucks with gun racks and Come and Take It Flags on their way to your house now!  You have united homosexuals and religious groups from Dalhart to Brownsville.  And they are headed your way to bible thump your butt and looking good while doing it. Are you unware that damn near everybody in the state has guns and a concealed handgun license to carry them?  You just bolstered gun sales and sent open carry advocates’ legislation back in the spotlight. Hell, you may be even united the Republicans and Democrats on this issue.  You have not made the Bush Family happy.  How is Jeb supposed to defend people in Florida calling other states, and especially Texas, names?

You do not mess with Texas! Where were you during Florida’s crazy chad hanging era? You better protect your chads because they are in danger. I hope your crazy peninsula state shrivels up along with your personal chad hanging body parts.

Apologize? You bet your sweet ass you owe the state of Texas, its citizens, its governor and everybody else an apology.  Or we will send Molly White, or some other crazy person of  your choice, to your crazy state to whip your crazy ass.

Monday, February 9, 2015 – Bless Me Father, For I Have Sinned

Monday, February 9, 2015 – Bless Me Father, For I Have Sinned

Bless Me Father, for I have sinned. This weekend I had brunch at Brennen’s in Houston and ate the most decadent eggs benedict.  Of course they were preceded by a bloody Mary.  And of course, I had bananas foster. I went to Brennen’s. One cannot go and not have bananas foster.   No, I am not at the sinning part yet.  Then I went to see the Broadway play Book of Mormon and laughed and marveled at the entire performance.  I have seen and heard worse on cable TV. No, having cable TV is not the sin. I am getting to the sinning part.

I have succumbed to the slings and arrows of outrageous misfortune and capitulated to the social media peer pressure and joined Face Book.  I still feel the same about the technology.  It is a waste of time and energy, not to mention the last shred of any privacy you might have had, is now for anyone with an Internet connection to see, hear and steal.

Within 48 hours of logging on, somebody found me.  Even BFF Luddite sent a text asking if I had joined. And now my mailbox is filling with friend requests.   Thank you.  I appreciate them and I will get to them.   Here’s a bit of the back story.

Last March my Ash Wednesday, Lenten commitment was to write an essay every day for the 40 days of Lent.  Turns out Lent is really longer than 40 days, so I had to continue from Ash Wednesday to Easter.  I began a blog called Here’s What I’m Thinking.  Do you know how hard it is to write and publish over 200 posts?  Of course with the Texas Legislature in town, it has become somewhat easier since there is so much material.

A few people actually read the daily paragraphs.  Thank goodness football season began and in the fall I began posting to Twitter and people actually began to follow and Retweet.  So in order to reach another audience, I connected Here’s What I’m Thinking to Facebook.   In some respects, I am taking a techno step backwards.

So here’s the deal.  You read my daily writings and I will complete your friend requests.   The majority of the writings are done in parody and satire.  You are supposed to laugh.  Sometimes I do put on my doctor hat and write something serious and use multisyllabic words with long pedantic, Faulknerian sentences.

The usual content centers on college athletics – football and basketball, Texas Aggie athletics, politics, the educational institution and living in the state of Texas.  Remember, the goal of a writer is to evoke emotion.  The reader gets to define the emotion.  Oh yeah, at some point I will write about you.  So consider yourself warned.

What? Ash Wednesday is NEXT Wednesday?  It is not this week? You mean I have to do the whole confession thing again next week?   And there is still one more Friday night steak?  Saints Behold!

Friday, February 6, 2015 – Snarky Friday

 

Good Morning, Class,

Today we will explore our interdisciplinary thoughts by wasting instructional time and conducting our weekly practice for the assessment.   Our assessment today is based on the weekly question posed to the Texas and United States governments “What Have You Done for the Citizens of Texas this Week?”

Ready? Number two pencils up? Begin!

Question One – Ranking or Ordering

Rank the following in order with number one representing the MOST and number seven representing the LEAST embarrassing to Texas this week.

Molly White – Texas House of Representative who said the group organizing Muslim Day at the Capitol had terrorists’ ties.

Ted Cruz –U. S. Senator from Texas for his strategy of blocking a vote on President Barack Obama’s attorney general nominee until the White House relents on immigration. His own GOP colleagues voted against him.

Lance Armstrong – for side swiping a car while under the influence and then blaming it on his girlfriend.

Johnny Manziel – will he trademark Johnny Rehab?

The leader of Open Carry Tarrant County – for indirectly threatening death for those who did not approve a proposed measure allowing Texans to openly carry handguns in public.

The measles outbreak.

Rick Perry and his team of lawyers – still trying to get the charges dismissed.

Question Two – Writing Portion

Write a 250 word essay explaining why the Texas Land Commissioner is leading the education protesters.  For extra credit, write a protest song about it.  We all know that land commissioners in Texas grow more than agricultural crops on the land.  It grows Bushes too.