Friday, September 24, 2021 – Snarky Friday – Week 4

I apologize for Snarky Friday being delayed. I was outside checking on the pig that I am roasting in the back yard for tomorrow. It was time to turn it on the spit. I was listening to TUSK by Fleetwood Mac and just lost track of time.

Why don’t you ask him if he’s going to stay?
Why don’t you ask him if he’s going away?
Ay…
Why don’t you tell me what’s going on?
Why don’t you tell me who’s on the phone?
O-o-o
Why don’t you ask him what’s going on?
Why don’t you ask him the latest on his throne?
Hooga haaga hooga

Let’s start with the 11:00 hour and conference openers for:

SMU and TCU at 11:00 on FS1 – Ponies and Frogs and Rich Kids remember the Southwest Conference Days.

LSU and Mississippi State at 11:00 on ESPN – This could be an interesting match up between the cats and dogs. A fight for third place in the conference could be on the line.

Texas Tech and THE University of Texas at 11:00 on ABC. BEVO gets a tortilla stuck to his horn. Horns Up! And Guns Up! You really need to think about that Guns Up thing, but hey it’s Texas. When was the last time, Tech came into the game with a better record? As painful as it is for me to say it, Wreck ‘Em, Tech!

Notre Dame and Wisconsin at 11:00 on Fox. Stand up, Badgers and sing! And raise our glowing flame. This version of the song makes me want to grab a pennant, throw on a racoon coat, jump in a flivver and travel back in time to the 1920’s.

Clemson at NC State 2:30 ESPN – Oh Dabo. Oh Dabo. You really need to take care of the Wolf Pack.

Iowa State at Baylor at 2:30 on Fox – Cyclones on the Brazos at McClain Stadium. Sic ‘Em Bears! There have miracles on the Brazos before.

The evening hours are filled with many games. Here are two. You can Google ESPN as well as I can.

Alabama and Southern Mississippi at 6:30 at SECN. Ohh. The Tide Rolls in; The Tide Rolls out; The Tide Rolls in and they shake it all about. They do the Hokey Pokey, and they turn themselves around; That’s what it’s all about.

At 6:00 Tennessee visits the Swamp in Florida on ESPN. It might be rough for Rocky Top. CHOMP!

I’m sorry. The porkchops, bacon and ham that I ordered arrived. The pork loin and pork sausages should arrive soon.

Texas A&M Arkansas at 2:30 CBS. Why don’t you ask him the latest on his throne? Now seeking the latest on the throne we have The Average Texas Aggies against the pretty scary Arkansas Razorbacks. The fact that the game is in Arlington at Jerry World does not give either team a distinct advantage.

Oh Bull Crap! The game is on CBS. That means Motor Mouth Gary Danielson and the other poor guy who is trying to call the game. I thought the SEC got rid of you, CBS?

The live mascot for Arkansas is Tusk 5. A tusk is defined as a long, pointed tooth, especially one specially developed so as to protrude from the closed mouth, as in the elephant, walrus, or wild boar. So basically, the Arkansas mascot is a tooth on a wild boar with the tooth hanging out his mouth. This says a great deal about teeth in people and animals of Arkansas. The University of Arkansas does not have a dental school.

Before I go check on the roasting pig, I must pack my emergency kit for tomorrow’s game. Little Football that plays War Hymn. Damn It Doll. Plastic quart container for cussing (a dime for a single word and a quarter for multisyllable words), Five rolls of dimes and five rolls of quarters, Four Pepto-Bismol chewables. Four Peppermint-flavored Tums. Four pair clean underwear. One/quarter. One small oxygen tank, and these – Also one/quarter.