September 10, 2021 – Week Two of Snarky Football Friday
Let’s talk about pants. I noticed last week that players’ pants are getting shorter. Kickers might as well be wearing spandex shorts. Receivers seem to have shorter pants too. More research is needed.
And Notre Dame? Those urine colored pants are bad in the first place. When you sweat the pants become even uglier. Other teams seem to have yellowish pants and do not seem to have an issue.
And THE University of Texas? You are going to need better pants in the SEC. We can see your butt. What is the thread count you are wearing? About a 10? So either get better pants or wear something underneath. While you are at it, you might as well get better uniforms for the SEC.
I see the Big 12 has issued party invitations to Brigham Young University, Cincinnati University, the University of Houston, and the University of Central Florida. Three felines (cougar, bearcat, cougar,) and a knight. The UCF mascot is named Knightro for the “Knight of Pegasus” and resembles a cross between a knight from days of old and a robot.
The University of Central Florida was founded in 1963 as the Florida Technological University. The Pegasus became the school’s first athletic mascot in 1970, when UCF students voted and selected the “Knight of Pegasus” as their mascot over “Vincent the Vulture” which had been the university’s unofficial mascot.
And who but Texas Tortilla Tech to issue a welcome to the new schools by showing their sportsmanship, or lack of. The Red Raiders made t-shirts taunting the U of H about Tech’s come from behind win. Wait until you see what they can do with the goal posts.
Moving on to this week…
Great! All of the 11:00 games are teams I am not interested in at this time and can catch up during halftime reports. So to the teams I am interested. Getting my SNARK on, here we go.
UAB and Georgia at 2:30 on ESPN2. Georgia? Just pretend it is the University of Alabama not the University of Alabama @ Birmingham. Will you be bringing the offense this week? The UAB mascot is the Blazers. I’m pretty sure it means a dragon and not a sports coat.
Texas A&M at Colorado at 2:30 on Fox. The last time the Aggies played Colorado on national TV, one of those Detmers was QB. (Koy Detmer – RL? Did you know he is a coach at Somerset under Sonny?) The Aggies played like the women’s field hockey team from Our Lady of Perpetual Turnovers. I got mad and raced out of the driveway in the car and tore the air conditioning wall unit from the house. But now the Aggies are older in Boulder.
Mercer and Alabama on SECN at 3:00. Mercer is in Macon Georgia. On November 19, 2010, Mercer announced the reinstatement of intercollegiate football beginning in the fall of 2013. The university competed as an NCAA Division I, non-scholarship program in the Pioneer Football League in 2013, and is now a scholarship program in the Southern Conference. Reinstatement came after a 70-year hiatus; Mercer suspended football during World War II and did not revive it. The final game was in 1941. The Tide will Roll, and it will be a long afternoon for the Bears.
The Iowa Hawkeyes and the Iowa State Weather Patterns play at 3:30 on ABC in a big game. The Cy-Hawk Battle will be history making. For the first time in the 67-game history of the series, both the Iowa Hawkeyes and Iowa State Cyclones are ranked. They’re both in the top 10. This could be bigger than the Iowa State Fair.
At 6:00 on ESPN2, NC State and Mississippi State kick off. For the Elf and Big Solid and all the State fans, “Please remain seated for the entire performance. Go Dogs!
Oklahoma plays Western Carolina at 6:00. Sooner Schooner rights itself and Rattlers on. I find no social media broadcasts. OU probably wants to get act together in private after last week’s performance.
The Stephen F. Austin Lumberjacks play Tortilla Tech at 6:00 on ESPN+. Ax ‘Em, Jacks!
LSU and McNeese kick off at 7:00 on SECN. Tigers come home and lick their wounds.
And last and certainly not least at 7:00 on ESPN, THE University of Texas and The University of Arkansas meet in old Southwest Conference and Big 12 rivalries, and a start a new soon to be SEC rivalry.
Wooooooooo. Pig. Sooie!
Wooooooooo. Pig. Sooie!
Wooooooooo. Pig. Sooie! Razorbacks!
In case you forgot how they call the pigs. Wait until you hear the cowbells in Starkville. Welcome to the SEC, BEVO!
Remember that night of September 10, twenty years ago? It was our last good night’s sleep. We shall never forget!