Monday, October 5, 2020 – My Monday After Saturday College Football Awards
Let’s begin with awarding The Lone Star Award to TCU. The Horned Frogs were the only football team in Texas to win against their opponent.
Wait there is a flag on the play. I award THE University of Texas and TCU The Flag Football Award. In the first 11 plays of the game, there were nine penalties.
TCU receives The Moo Award for milking the clock and defeating THE University of Texas 33-31.
Baylor and West Virginia both receive The Ugly Game into Double OT Award. 21-27 West Virginia. Maybe if Baylor did not wear their practice looking uniforms it would have been a better outcome for the Bears.
The Ugly Uniform Award goes to Memphis for looking like a Zebra against SMU.
And now the big awards.
The History Award goes to THE University of Texas and Oklahoma University for both losing on the same weekend. I have not yet found the last time, but it has been a long time.
Additional History Awards go to OU because the last time OU had back to back Big 12 Conference losses was 1999!
The Big History Trophy goes to OU because the last time Iowa State defeated OU in Aimes, Iowa was 1960! 1960 – I was not even in high school. 37-30 Cyclones. And Iowa State receives the Good-Looking Uniforms by wearing all black and not the usual ugly red and yellow ones.
Oklahoma State did win big over Kansas 40-7 so let’s give them the ordinary Good Job, Well Done Award for defeating Kansas.
Let’s just go ahead and give the teams of the Big 12 Conference the White Out Wipe Out Award. Kansas State may win the conference.
I have not given a Rotten Announcer Award so far, but this Monday it goes to Gary Danielson. Gary, in addition to Rotten Announcer, you get The Put a Sock in Your Biased Mouth Award plus The Hoover Award because you suck by your continued blabber talk and calling a biased game. Don’t believe me? Look at social media. Not just my opinion. Man just shut up!
Georgia and Auburn 27-6. Georgia wins the Bad Moon Rising Award while Auburn receives the Falling out of the Top 10 Award. Is it true that one would rather have a sister in a whorehouse than a brother who graduated from Auburn?
Ole Miss receives The Hotty Totty Award for defeating Kentucky in 42 to 31 in OT. Ole Miss also wins the Wait ‘til the Sun Shines, Nelly Certificate for when you actually play a good team.
Mississippi State receives a Hunting License for Feral Hogs to be used next season. Arkansas receives The House of the Rising Hog Award for defeating State 21-14.
The Mask on your Snout Award goes to the Head Coach of Arkansas. Probably thinking it is one of those pig noses.
Mike L., I just wanted to remind you that you are playing in the smartest football conference – both on and off the field. Run and Gun Offense may not carry you through the season. Most teams will figure it out.
LSU receives a Good Job Well Done Award for beating Vanderbilt 41-7.
The Treasury Secretary doppelganger, Steve Munchin wins The Referee of the Week Award.
Alabama and Texas A&M 52-24 – The Texas Aggies receive The Environmental Hazard Award because when the TIDE rolled over you, you looked like dead fish washed up and rotting and stinking on the beach.
Speaking of beaches, next week the Aggies play Florida. This could be a Sand in my Pants Trophy even though the game is in Kyle Field.
Pac 10? You want to come play now? By playing six games? No! No! NO! Just stay on the beach and surf. You cannot play for the COVID Championship Trophy!
Wear your mask. Be safe and VOTE!
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