Here's What I'm Thinking

Monday, April 24, 2023 – Don’t Laugh and Remember It Is in the Eye of the Beholder

Several months ago I was talking to God and I asked if He could guide me toward something else to do to fill my days. I told Him that sleeping late, going to the gym, reading books, playing golf, taking naps and watching The Price is Right and the ID Channel on TV were just not enough to fill all seven days of the week.

I kept hearing Him say “ART!” Hearing the word “art” in my brain kept on for a few weeks. I finally told God that the last experience I had with an art project was in the third grade and I had a stadium set of Crayolas.

Nevertheless the word “art” kept running through my brain. I knew I did not want to take art lessons anywhere. That would mean being someplace at a certain hour and there would be people to deal with. Two things I really do not care for.

Then from the boundless wonders of the Internet a YouTube video appeared about a painting technique called acrylic pour. I thought to myself – I have three college degrees. I bet I can pour paints into a cup and then pour it onto a canvas. Then spin the canvas or swish the paint around the canvas. So I began a new hobby. I am now a card carrying member of Michaels.

The thing I like that most about paint pours is that you never know what the finished result will be. It is somewhat like life in that you just have to trust God and the process.

Here are some examples hanging in my combination car garage and art studio. If you rotate the canvas, you can see many different things. Guess which one I named Mardi Gras. The blue one was done by rolling a marble through the paints. Anyway, I am having fun and that is the main thing.

Friday, April 21, 2023 – Softly Call the Muster

To have a family member or friend to answer “Here” when my name is called at an Aggie Muster is all I want after I leave this earth. It will be just another Corps Trip and I’ll march in behind the band.

However, I do not plan on marching any time soon. Besides, I told my sister that I was not going to pass until the Fightin Texas Aggie football team won a national championship. She told me I could not live forever.

And finally, to Michael Karlis, the author of the article stating that Texas A&M University and THE University of Texas at Austin are the most cult like schools in Texas: https://www.sacurrent.com/author/michael-karlis

Dear Michael, first of all, you do not appear to be a Texan. Neither did you attend a school in Texas or even in the South. They are called traditions! Have you ever been to the LSU campus in Baton Rouge? They have a live tiger called Mac. Or even the entire state of Mississippi? I do not think Big Solid would like you to call his alma-mater, Mississippi State, a cult. So I am taking your cult school listing with big droppings of poop from Reveille and Bevo.

 No school, but Texas A&M University has a muster. Cult, tradition or just remembering your loved ones. It is because “We are the Aggies; the Aggies are we…”

Monday, April 17, 2023 – Can I Get You a Beer?

Today, we talk about beer.

Some people are furious at Budweiser following the news that they named TikTok star and trans activist Dylan Mulvaney their spokesperson. Consider the source.

Dylan Mulvaney appeared in a digital ad during March Madness holding a can of Bud Light with her likeness on it. Subsequent commercials showed Kid Rock shooting cans of Bud Light and Texas Congressman Dan Crenshaw showing a refrigerator with no cans of the Bud Light. (But it did show cans of Budweiser beers.)Consider the source.

So pick a source and read on.

Let us begin with a few famous beer quotes –

“I like beer!” Unqualified, sketchy Supreme Court Associate Justice Brett M. Kavanaugh

“About beer. As far as I’m concerned, you can put it back in the horse.” My Mama

“I like beer, too, and I am smarter than Brett Kavanaugh.” Me

Here’s what I’m thinking. To all you beer drinking conservatives and country music singing people regarding the boycott of Bud Light beer:

First of all, you had no idea who Dylan Mulvaney was until somebody told you. Moving on.

While I understand your desire to pursue with whole hearted conviction and/or single-minded focus, with little or no regard to the cost, is a can of Bud Light with a picture of something/someone you don’t like, the hill you want to die on?

Granted, the boycott cost Anheuser-Busch billions of dollars. Don’t take that victory chug-a-lug yet. That translates to worker salaries, lack of sales, loss of jobs and more. Sounds like a pyrrhric victory to me. Or maybe too much foam and not enough beer. Or too much water and not enough beer

https://www.nbcnews.com/business/business-news/budweiser-waters-down-its-beer

Drinking water-downed beer would be more important to me than whose picture was on the can. It seems to me you would be more upset that Anheuser-Busch is no longer an American owned company. It is owned by InBev of Belgium. Under InBev, the flagship brands that you will mostly come across in the U.S. are Stella Artois, Brahma, Beck’s, Leffe, Boddingtons, Hoegaarden, Labatt, Löwenbräu, St. Pauli Girl and Tennent’s. Under the new “Belgweiser” ownership, they add over 40 different beers and malt liquors. The most popular are the Budweiser family of beers (Bud, Bud Light, Bud Select, etc.), the Michelob Family of beers (Michelob, Michelob Light, Michelob Ultra), the Busch Family of beers (Busch, Busch Light, Busch Ice), and who can forget the Natural “Natty” Family (Natural Light & Natural Ice).

So the beer boycott hill you choose to die on is because a watered-down beer has an image on the can that you don’t do not agree with. Good luck with that and with that I think it is beer time somewhere. Oh? To the Bud Light boycotters? What beer did you drink during the boycott? I hope it was not Dos Equis or Tecate or Corona because they come from Mexico.

Wednesday, April 12, 2023 – Wednesday Again? We Love You, Carol Burnett

I said I was going to post on Mondays and Fridays. But once again Wednesday slipped up so here we are again.

It is hard at times to write something positive. When there are daily shootings, crazy politicians, crazy people, hatred, and bigotry throughout the world, one just wants to become a hermit. A hermit with grocery and liquor store deliveries.

When I started this Here’s What I’m Thinking blog years ago, the intent was to make at least one person smile or laugh. As I said, with the world happenings, it is hard. Nevertheless, we must strive on and try to find humor.

So I turned to the funniest lady I have ever seen – the wonderful Carol Burnett. Next Wednesday there will be a 90^th birthday celebration for this wonderful comedian.

https://www.nbc.com/nbc-insider/nbc-carol-burnett-90th-birthday-special-what-to-know

If you have never seen the outtakes of The Elephant Story with the late Tim Conway, Carol Burnett, Vickie Lawrence and Dick Van Dyke, you must watch. Whether it is the first time you have seen it or the trazillionth like me, it is guaranteed to make you laugh. Great comedy. Great comedians. It is my go to video when I need a laugh until you cry.

Wednesday, April 5, 2023 – The Container Tale You’re In

NARRATOR: Whan that Aprill with his shoures sote
The droghte of Marche hath perced to the rote . . .

My apologies for the delay. I try to post something on Monday and Friday. I actually had something for Monday and then Tuesday but did not post. I was a little under the weather.

Sadly, I had an issue with my nether eh-ya region. What? Not familiar with the nether-eh-ya region? It is from The Miller’s Tale by Geoffrey Chaucer. As Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler says, “It is the dirtiest story, I know.” Just think if MAGAs could read Old English. Or any English for that matter.

But I did have to use the wonderful state benefits that I am so blessed to have and see a doctor.  Given the issue in the nether eh ya region, it was necessary to void into a container – a very small container – seemingly the size of a thimble. Days prior void could not be avoided. However, when it was necessary to void, there was no void. Nothing. Nada. Somehow, I had avoided the void.

Actually, there was a  void, but all the liquid flowed down my left hand trying to maneuver the container in my right hand of which no liquid went in. After that, there was nothing. I had to sit for 30 minutes and drink a bottle of water. After a successful flow followed by an intense hand washing, I left to pick up my antibiotic.  Thank you for science!

I am happy to say all is well in the nether eh-ya area as in The Miller’s Tale and as in The Container Tale You’re In.

Friday, March 31, 2023 – Snarky Friday Prelude

I am exhausted! I am certain you are exhausted too. After all, we have just finished a thirty-one day March.

Here’s What I’m thinking will be delayed until tomorrow or after I see what Kim Mulkey wears tonight. My apologies for incorrectly reading the women’s bracket and thinking LSU played Iowa tonight. The Tigers of LSU play Virginia Tech and Virginia Tech plays Metallica song “Enter Sandman” to celebrate their sports. The song is played at the beginning of each Hokies game, but at a recent event, the song was banned; that said, Hokies fans found an interesting and memorable workaround in regard to this ban.

Per USA Today, the song was banned because the NCAA wants to keep host sites part of tournaments “neutral”; this recent game took place at Virginia Tech’s Cassell Coliseum, and if the school were to play their hype song (“Enter Sandman”), they could be fined by the NCAA.

We shall see if Enter Sandman is played tonight in Dallas. Like I would recognize the song if Metallica was playing in my living room. WWKW? What will Kim Wear? See full snark later.

Meanwhile from Lose Your Scholarship news, or Moon over Texas or Aren’t the Parents Proud?. The individual who streaked WAS a member of the Cross Country team.

Friday, March 24, 2023 – Brackets and B Ball – No Place But Texas

This is the best March Madness ever and we are not quite half way through.

My men’s and women’s brackets busted before I could even get them off of the printer.  By Round Two it was all over, but the crying because double digit seated teams were beating the favorites. Teams that no one had ever heard of before were winning. Do not try to tell me that you had heard of Farleigh Dickenson! There were upsets every day and sometimes every game played on a single day was an upset.

Both men’s and women’s teams from Princeton made it to the NCAA tournament. The women’s team lost in the second round even though the team gave the Utah Utes (not to be confused with “the two Yutes from My Cousin Vinny.) a quality game. The Princeton’s men’s team plays tonight. I love to listen to the announcers when a Princeton team plays. For example:

Announcer discussing the opponent: They are a fifth year Senior, majoring in general studies, was a JuCo transfer and holds the school record for most points, rebounds and assists.

Announcer discussing Princeton players – They are a future Rhodes Scholar, majoring in international law, speaks six languages, and their hobby is programming and coding video games.

Note: Notice how I did that gender free?

Dribbling on. If you refer back to the first post of this HWIT, you will note my prediction that there will be no women’s team from Texas participating in Dallas. I noted that there was a Call for Volunteers to work the Women’s Final Four Tournament. Once there was a time…

On the men’s bracket, the only team from the SEC is Alabama and their controversy. If Texas Tech and Bama played Tech could do “Guns Up!” Seriously, you Techsters need to change that. Maybe “Tortilla Throw Now!” Also tonight, we have The University of Houston playing Miami and THE University of Texas playing Xavier. My two least favorite schools in the entire state. Have you noticed that all schools do a Horns Down sign now? If you, TU, had not made such a big deal out of the gesture, no one would have noticed. Heck, Princeton fans do it and do not have a clue.

Speaking of least favorite teams, Notre Dame and Louisville are still playing on the women’s bracket. Can any team, including D II and DIII men’s teams, stop South Carolina? The Gamecocks bench is better than most teams.

The best part of March Madness are the commercials. Like him or not, Charles Barkley is funny! I sure hope he got paid big bucks for doing Chuck and the Chuckettes. But he does look good in satin and sequins. And how clever is Chuck Stop. And of course, there is the national treasure, Willie Nelson on the road again, with  “B-Ball with my friends…”

Enough dribbling down the court. I hope your team wins.

Monday, March 20, 2023 – Twelve Angry Men or I Had Jury Duty

I was summoned for jury duty today. I know. I can age out of the responsibility, but I do not want to do so. It is one’s civic duty to be a part of the judicial process.

First of all, I have nothing better to do. Second of all, I get to wear something besides sweats, shorts or blue jeans and t-shirts. I must actually wear shoes and not tennis shoes or slides.

One is required to dress in dignified and appropriate attire. From the notice – “This includes, NO SHORTS, HATS OR REVEALING CLOTHING.” I have a court ensemble. It is the same as my funeral ensemble. I wear my RBG socks with black leather loafers, black pants with sharp leg creases and a must have, non-negotiable button down shirt. This tends to confuse the lawyers – it is difficult to determine if I would lean toward the state or toward the defense.

Third of all I enjoy going through voir dire. I enjoy being questioned by the attorneys. First question: Ms. Duffey? Response: Yes. It is Dr. Duffey.” This usually works to get me out and they really do not want to ask any questions, but they have to ask their question anyway.

Fourth of all, I doubt I shall be chosen. As noted, as soon as I put on the doctor hat, the attorneys lose interest. However, should another questions be asked, these two are usually the ones:

Dr. Duffey? What do you do?

Response: I am retired.

What did you retire from?

Response: The state of Texas.

And at this point I am usually done. Defense attorneys seldom like jurors whose retirement is the same as their opponent.

Dressing conservatively; using an academic title, and retiring from the state is usually all I need to be released from becoming a jury. I am way too educated and experienced to be a part of an accused “jury of their peers.”

Unless of course, the jury summons is for the Grand Jury. In that case what they attorney’s are looking for are people wearing blacked creased pants, with a button-down shirt, a post baccalaureate degrees and experience in a bureaucracy.

I showed up at the appointed hour, filled out my payment form, donating my $6.00 to some court charity, and from 8:15 am until 9:45, the prospective jurors sat in the hallway on very hard benches. At this time, we streamed into the courtroom, only to be relieved of duty as plea bargains were reached for all defendants.  So much for civic duty.

Friday, March 17, 2023 – Happy St. Gertrude’s Day and Happy St. Patrick’s Day

Dia dhaoibh a chaired – That phrase is Gaelic and translates to Hello Friends. There are about fifteen more Irish phrases that mean Hello Friends.

Today is for everyone who pretends they are Irish, thinks they are Irish (See Ancestry.com) and of course those who are actually Irish on this day.

 Most people celebrate by wearing green to celebrate St. Patrick. It is said to keep away the leprechauns and fairies who come out on this day. Did you know that the British once forbid the “wearing of the green,” and even hanged people if caught wearing the color in support of the Irish?  Now it symbolizes freedom. So St. Paddy’s day is a day of celebration of freedom and love.

March 17 is also the celebration of St. Gertrude. Often forgotten (like most women in history), Gertrude is the patron saint of cats. So when you tip your pint of Guinness today and eat your corn beef (Catholic Church said it is OK – such a progressive institution,) remember to toast to St. Gertrude. And most love all, love the furry creature who brings you joy and love.

Now I’m off for a traditional Irish meal – a potato and a six pack of Guinness. Éirinn go Brách, – Ireland Forever.