Here's What I'm Thinking

Monday, Juneteenth – PEOPLE! PEOPLE! PEOPLE!  What Is Wrong With You People?

I try to shy away from controversial topics, but today I cannot. Bring that soapbox over here. No, I do not need help getting on it.

In the highly censorious, condemnatory world of social media, I saw that various conservative groups are upset because Peyton Manning was drinking a Bud Light beer while watching his alma mater, Tennessee, play LSU in a college world series game. Here’s what I’m thinking.

This is like the book banning trip You People are trying.

You can drink whatever beer you so desire. You can read or not read any book you desire. BUT, you cannot tell me or Peyton Manning or anybody else what beer to drink. Nor can you tell me or anybody else what books to read or what books not to read.

Let me put it in a manner that you will understand. You can pick your nose. You can pick your friends. But you cannot pick your friend’s nose.

The boycott of Bud Light has caused that brand to fall from the top selling spot, the number one selling beer now is Modelo. I guess You People did not realize that beer comes from Mexico. Mexico – the place from where the immigrants come.

May you be lost in the Texas heat with only a cooler of ice-cold Bud Light and a paperback book from Oprah Winfrey’s book club.

No. I can get off the soapbox by myself. Thank you. Celebrate Juneteenth! Celebrate every day of freedom!

Friday, June 16, 2023 – HELL!

Texas temperatures are hotter than the hinges of Hell. And it is only June! The reason for this is two-fold. Number one is climate change, but number two is because the Devil got to choose between Hell or Texas in the summer when God kicked him out of heaven.

It is less than three months before college football begins. Me me me me me meee! Warming up my vocal chords! Of course the big news around town is the renewed rivalry between THE University of Texas and Texas A&M University in 2024. The game will be played in Kyle Field on a date to be determined. So some deal was struck and THE University said, “Ok, we’ll play there.!” So let’s get ready to stand and sing with the conviction “Good-bye to Texas University; So long to the orange and the white…”

HWIT, I think we should get through the 2023 season before we begin any discussion on one game in 2024. Also please note TU fans that every game in the SEC is considered a rivalry game. You can fight with Tennessee over who is UT! Perhaps you could consider UT2.

Moving on…From radio station HWIT I dedicate this song to the TU baseball team.

Blinded by the light; Revved up like a Deuce-Another runner in the night.

What a horrible, gut wrenching, heart breaking way to lose a game. If you are not aware it was the bottom of the ninth, game tied with two outs, Stanford was down to their last out. The four Texas players (SS, 2B, CF and RF) all lost the ball in the lights. And the ball falls among the four of them. Stanford runner comes home, wins the game and goes to the College World Series.

I truly empathize with the team. I really know how it feels to lose in such a terrible way. It is something that fans never forget. It will leave a bad taste in your mouth for years to come. I bet it is like watching the football leave TU’s Justin Tucker’s toe and go between the uprights of the goal post as time expires on November 24, 2011, to defeat Texas A&M. The following year the Aggies left the Big 12 for the SEC. Rumors still abound that if that kick had not been good, the Aggies would have stayed in the Big 12.

Good luck as you enter the SEC, TU! See you in 2024! WHOOP!

Friday, June 9, 2023 – Baseball Hot Dogs and Chevrolet!

BOOMER SOONER! Here’s to the Oklahoma College Softball World Series for their THREE-PEAT World Series Championship. Next lifetime I am definitely coming back as a left-handed softball pitcher! I will have scholarship offers to major institutions of higher education from the Eighth Grade forward – just like today’s players.

I suppose on my return to Earth as a softball player I would have to grow long hair and learn how to braid it , plait it, tie it in in a pony tail and let it hang down my back. I love the fact that you can wear earrings and full make-up with glittering long eyelashes and nails done in school colors. Even with that black stuff on their face softball players look great! There are not many sports that one can look like that. Seriously, I didn’t look that good on a good day at that age, let alone standing in the sun and running around. But I do have the necessary Bad Ass Attitude required.

The NCAA D-I College World Series regionals and super regionals are currently underway with a trip to Omaha and history. I have no idea who is playing.

I played golf for the first time in three years. Year 1 – COVID. Year 2 – Texas Governor Wheeler Winter Blizzard and Rain Forest Summer. Year 3 – Hip Replacement Surgery. The good news is that I am just as bad as I was before. From the first tee box, I hit the ball into the water. This in and of itself is not unusual, but I usually hit the water on the third stroke  after I have had to lay up. (Non-golfers, this means I cannot hit the ball far enough the first time and cannot hit it over the creek on the second stroke.) In the eight years I have played this course, I have never come close to hitting the ball into the creek off the tee. I have two theories. Theory number one. Amber, my trainer, is doing an unbelievable job of strengthening upper body muscles and legs. Theory number two. The golf course moved the women’s tee box closer to the creek. I’m going with Amber.

An aside – A reminder that my strategy for people to read Here’s What I’m Thinking is that if I know you at the present or have known you in the past, there is a 99.99% that I will write about you at some point. My reason for mentioning this is because I am coming for you Dr. No Hot Dog Buns!! You may not be mentioned by name, but you will know who you are. Ponder on the that for a while!

In 1974, advertising firm, Campbell Ewald copywriter, James Hartzell, penned the phase “Baseball, hot-dogs, apple pie and Chevrolet” which became one of automotive’s iconic advertisements. I hope your weekend is filled with a few of those.

Friday, June 2, 2023 – The SEC and Just Say No to Geno

It is less than 100 days until college football kickoff. I can’t wait. It is still much too early to make too many snarky comments, but here are a few to get us warmed up.

Alabama is going to come out pissed off at Georgia and everybody else. Don’t forget TU that you have to play in Tuscaloosa this year. Get used to it Texas. Expect long plane and bus rides home.

LSU is going to wear helmets with air conditioning. They say it is due to the swampy, humid, bayou weather conditions. https://www.msn.com/en-us/sports/ncaafb/lsu-football-team-shows-off-new-air-conditioned-helmets-ahead-of-2023-season/ar-AA1c0vWY Go figure. By that reasoning it should mean that schools like Wisconsin should wear warming helmets. Talk about swamp,, there is always Florida. I was referring to the school, but if you want to think of the entire state as a backass swamp, feel free to do so.

And then there are the Texas Aggies and Jimbo’s year to do something. Alabama in Kyle Field? LSU in the Bayou with AC Helmets. But first New Mexico State. Remember Appalachian State?

And then there is Auburn – AKA Tiger Brag. Auburn stated that it is the only school in the SEC with a Buc-ees https://auburnwire.usatoday.com/lists/auburn-football-recruiting-bucees-graphic-michigan-state-appalachian-georgia/ Well, what does one expect from a school whose business department was formed in the 1980’s? This Buc-ees/Auburn snark is for you, John Hawkins!

The SEC seems to be doing the Hokey Pokey when it comes to putting schedules together. Eight SEC games? Nine SEC games? One Non-Conference school? An ACC school? A religious school? A Private School? A 6A High School team from Texas? A women’s field hockey team with a trans person? It really does not matter that much. We all know that it is where they can make the most money.

Speaking of conference changes? What is all this about UConn moving to the Big 12? Really? Does Baylor or anyone else want to go to Connecticut? Does UConn know how hot it gets in Texas? That would mean Geno for women’s basketball. Where is my vomiting emoji? https://longhornswire.usatoday.com/2023/05/26/texas-longhorns-big-12-uconn-expansion-conference-potential/

As to games …With TU joining the SEC, it appears that the rivalry between THE University of Texas At Austin and Texas A&M will be renewed in 2024. Big Whoop. It seems that the location of the game is in question. TAMU AD, Ross Bjork, says “Play in Kyle Field first.” TU AD Chris Del Conte says “No.” I am certain it will be worked out by 2024.

But let us think of places the game could be played. Let’s leave out boring covered stadiums like in Arlington or Houston. How about Galveston Beach? Why not beach football? Spring Break and football combined. Beach Blanket Bingo Football.

Seriously, how about some random farmer’s field half way between College Station and Austin ala Friday Night Lights? Maybe something in Carmine or Giddings? Throw down some white lye lines. Throw up some bleachers. Play in the day to avoid lighting needs. Get some food and alcohol trucks. DONE! Maybe not even clear the field of holes and cow patties… “He slides into the endzone on a cow patty for the touchdown!”

But before there is football, the Fighting Texas Aggie baseball team faces Stanford in Palo Alto tonight. He slides safely into home plate for the win.Gig ‘Em, Aggies! BTHO Stanford Cardinal. It’s the color not the bird.

Friday, May 26, 2023 – Yes – You Were the Best – RIP Tina Tuner

Friday, May 19, 2023 – Give Me a Head With Hair –  Prurient Sex and Martha Stewart

Let begin with Tales from the 2023 Texas Legislature The CROWN Act, House Bill 567, was also passed the Texas Senate. Crown stands for Creating a Respectful and Open World of Natural Hair. It prohibits discrimination based on hair texture or protective hair styles associated with race.

I think it is sad that legislation must be passed regarding hair. Haven’t we already done the hair thing once? Perhaps there should be a T-Shirt that reads – Don’t Mess With Texans’ Hair.

However, evidently the Texas Legislature can tell you what constitutes a sexually explicit performance.

From the dark alleyways in Austin, Texas — The Texas House gave initial approval to a bill restricting children from seeing “sexually explicit” performances on Friday. The bill was originally designed to restrict kids from attending drag shows, but its most recent version seeks to criminalize any live performance that the bill defines as sexual. It defines a sexually explicit performance as one in which someone is nude or appeals to the “prurient interest in sex.” 

According to Rep. Shaheen, “There is a growing trend to expose children to more and more sexual content,” said Shaheen introducing the bill on Friday. “Have you watched any TV shows? Any cable or streaming services productions?

On Friday, Republican state Rep. Matt Shaheen of Plano cited the U.S. Supreme Court’s definition of prurient interests, which is defined as “erotic, lascivious, abnormal, unhealthy, degrading, shameful, or morbid interest in nudity, sex, or excretion,” though the language’s interpretation varies by community.

Mr. Shaheen? WTF? Prurient interest? Morbid? Excretion? What kind of drag shows have you been going to? I am thinking you have been attending some of those urban legend shows along Texas/Mexican borders. The ones with donkeys or the Coca-Cola bottles? Mr. Shaheen? I have been to many drag shows and I have never seen anything shameful, morbid or degrading. And the performances were not “reserved for sexually oriented businesses.”

Are you OK with clowns, Sir? Those are people who wear make up and wear weird funky clothes too. Please Google John Wayne Gacy.

Moving on. Martha, My Dear. What were you thinking? I think you have been hanging around Snoop Dog too much. You are 81 years old and posing on the cover of Sports Illustrated. You can have lots of fabrics draped over you, but we all know that is still some saggy skin under neath.

Seriously, I like the fact Martha Stewart did this. Let’s hear for the old people! Please know that I plan to get a swimsuit, then go to the beach and have some photos taken. Remind me to purchase an extra large beach towel.

I do hope that Rep. Shaheen does not think Martha’s cover does not appeal to the “prurient interest in sex.”  Most drag shows I have attended the participants wore way more clothes than most of the SI models.

And finally, I end on a sad note. One of my consistent readers, Big Solid, passed away on Mother’s Day. He played football for Mississippi State and intercepted a pass from Alabama’s Joe Namath and returned it for a touchdown. He was always mentioned on my Monday, After College Football Awards. I always gave the Big Solid Award for an interception.This fall there will be a special Big Solid Award. Thoughts and prayers for your family!

Monday, May 15, 2023 – Book Promotion Day

Today is Book Promotion Day. In addition to promoting my book, I want to promote Life’s a Trip by Tarvah McGinty. I promote  hers not only because Tarvah is my friend, and I too grew up in Magnolia, Texas, I know many of the stories she tells.

The full title is Life’s a Trip! Watch for God’s Lessons along the Way. I like the direction she gives in the title – WATCH for God’s lessons along the way. She tells her story along the way life as she was growing up in the tiny town of Magnolia, Texas.

Unlike mine, which is to make readers laugh, hers is written to make people realize that it is the journey not the destination that is important. And more importantly, if God is NOT on that journey with you, it really isn’t much of a journey. If God is on that journey with you, you already know the destination.

This is a book that is filled with stories that evoke laughter, sadness, tragedy, fun, family, friends and love and faith. At the end of each story is a Bible verse, may two. The story and the Bible verse are so closely tied together.

It is a wonderful book to remind us to Watch for God’s lessons along the way. Did I forget to mention there are photos? It is truly a beautiful book how one’s faith must be the guide for the journey.

As for me and my book…

Fire extinguisher not included – Read LoRaine Burns.

Both books available on Amazon.

Wednesday, May 10, 2023 – Presenting – They’re Not Crazy – They’re Southern

Remember that scene in the movie, Coal Miner’s Daughter where Sissy Spacek is sitting in the garden and says, “I done wrote myself a country-western song?”

Well I was sitting at the computer and “I done wrote myself a book of short funny storiesl” People often said of me that I was funny. I took that to mean humorous and nothing else.

Nevertheless, I am thrilled to have a book available on Amazon. It just went up today. In these days, we need some laughter. I hope this brings some.

It goes well with a merlot, a cabernet, a martini, and of course beer.

Thank you to those who have already purchased. Please consider leaving a review on Amazon.

You might recognize some places. You might even find your name or a variation of it.

Friday, May 5, 2023 – Cinco de Mayo

Cinco de Mayo, or the fifth of May, is a holiday that celebrates the date of the Mexican army’s 1862 victory over France at the Battle of Puebla during the Franco-Mexican War.

It has nothing to do with the United States of America. Those who recall their history know that in 1862 the USA and the CSA were involved in their own war and had no interest in Mexico happenings.

According to the Washington DC-based Beer Institute, Cinco de Mayo is one of the biggest American holidays for beer sales, especially at restaurants and bars.

Therefore, Cinco de Mayo is a designated day of drinking. A tall dressed Dos  Equis is perfect with a taco, chalupa, cheese and guacamole.  I hope you celebrate the day!

Friday, April 28, 2023 – The Wall That Heals

The Traveling Vietnam Wall is in town this weekend.  I have lost count of the number of times I have seen the Wall in Washington D. C. and the Traveling Wall. I notice it is now referred to as The Wall that Heals, as it should be.

There are over 58,000 names of men and women who were killed in action or are still missing in action.

Every time I have an opportunity to visit either the actual wall or the replica, I search for John R. “Butch” Baldridge, Jr.  His name is located on Panel 16 Line 97. In front of his name is a cross. This signifies his remains are still missing. Some day perhaps it will change to a diamond that notes the remains have been found. In 1970, I wore a POW/MIA bracelet with Captain John R. Baldrige’s name on it. I have a photograph of the panel from the DC Memorial with Captain Baldridge’s name on a wall in my house. See the POW-MIA Dog Tags?

It is very emotional to see a name on the wall that you recognize – even if you have never met the individual. You see yourself reflected in the black granite. And you wonder – Would I have gone to this unwanted war? What if I knew and loved the individual whose name is engraved in granite?

Today I was part of what the Wall Volunteer called “A Wall Miracle.” It is when two people show up at the same panel, at the same time, looking for the same name. Now I have a rubbing with Butch’s name – John R. Baldridge, Jr. was Texas Aggie.

I asked the man doing the rubbing who he was and why he was looking a Butch’s name and he only said he was doing it for some friends.

There are still over 1500 Vietnam soldiers still missing. Ten of those, including Butch, are Texas Aggies. I hope someday, not only Butch’s, but all of the missing will be found.