Monday October 11, 2021 – My Monday After Saturday College Football Awards
It’s close to midnight
Something evil’s lurking from the dark
Under the moonlight
You see a sight that almost stops your heart
You try to scream
But terror takes the sound before you make it
You start to freeze
As horror looks you right between the eyes
‘Cause this is thriller
And no-one’s gonna save you
From the beast about to strike
You know it’s thriller
You’re fighting for your life
Inside a killer
Thriller tonight, yeah
We are still two weeks away from Halloween, but last Saturday’s games were indeed worthy of THRILLER!
I ran out of Poopy Undies Awards before the evening games kicked off. So all teams pick up a pair.
Arkansas 51 and Ole Miss 52. No OT for the pigs. So The Disappointment Award goes to the Hogs for their unsuccessful two-point conversion attempt. To Ole Miss Coach, Lane Kiffen I give the Eventually Fourth Down Award. When you attempt multiple fourth down plays eventually one will result in a First Down. I am still giving Ole Miss and Lane the Popcorn Award and the Unpopped Kernels Award.
Oklahoma 55 and THE University of Texas 48. The Overrated Disappointment Award goes to THE University of Texas. It is OK, TU, Vanderbilt is in the SEC. Also, Wake Forest and Coastal Carolina are ahead of you in the Top 25. I am giving myself a laughing award.
To the BIG 12 I award the SCORE Award. With the exception of West Virginia and Texas Tech, every team in the Big 12 scored over forty-five points.
I award the Johnny Fever Award for “living on the air in Cincinnati at WKRP” to the Cincinnati Bearkats. Do Baylor and Texas Tech know that Cincinnati is moving the Big 12?
To all teams that won I award the Big Play of the Day and Playground Football Award. Go long and I will throw the ball to you is the name of the play.
And now, a drum roll please…
It was EPIC. It was DEVINE. It was AWESOME! It was HISTORY MAKING.
From the Jimbo Auto Parts Store and Home School, I award the Alabama Crimson Tide the Shock Absorber Award. This Award is also called The Damper. Since a shock absorber is often called a damper, the Texas Aggies certain put a damper on the Tide’s hopes and dreams.
I award the Alabama Special Teams The Linda Ronstadt Award because Devon Achane blew by you on the ninety-six yard kickoff return for a touchdown.
The Aggies are awarded The LIVE Schrodinger’s Cat Award. This should make the remaining teams nervous because you do not know if the cat will exit the box or not.
Seth Small receives The Cole Porter Award because We Got a Kick Out of You as time expired.
And Zach Calzada receives The Johnny Manziel Award for becoming the second Aggie QB to beat Alabama.
To the Fighting Texas Aggies everywhere, I award the Storming of the Field Award. Trust me, nobody cares if the NCAA fine is $25,000 or $250,000 or even $1,000,000 for field storming. It was so worth it.
The Sea of Victory