Monthly Archives: September 2014

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Posted on September 3, 2014 | Leave a comment

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Last Saturday as I was cleaning, I looked out my beveled glass pane in my front door just in time to see the Jehovah Witnesses walking around down street. Now don’t get me wrong. I respect a belief system that has a major tenet that includes “Thou will have many doors slammed in your face.” Nevertheless, I ran to the back of house and hid safely in the study. These four women resembled Sister Wives. You know – long, ugly print dress that was originally designated for furniture, big hair and very ugly shoes. Turns out it was neither the Jehovah Witnesses nor the Mormons, but rather the Pentecosts. They left a small calling card at my front door. Here’s what I’m thinking. Should solicitors for any purpose ring your door bell, I have developed a few strategies. This first one is tested, tried and true. Open the door wearing shorts, a T-Shirt, Birkenstocks and your motorcycle helmet. The second one, not attempted, but should work theoretically. Open the door wearing only a towel. On your head. Before they can recover, jump alongside one of them and take a selfie from the waist up. Under no circumstances should you invite them in for dinner. However, inviting them in is tested, tried and true too. Just ask my sister.

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Posted on September 2, 2014 | Leave a comment

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

There was once a governor named Rick Perry,

Whose presidential aspirations were scary,

But he got indicted for power abuse,

Which is just another way of saying “Oops.”

All because of a DA named Rosemary.

Monday, September 1, 2014

Posted on September 1, 2014 | Leave a comment

Monday, Labor Day, September 1, 2014

Happy Labor Day

My friend, Cecil, has been on a three week cruise. I thought I would update him on anything important that took place while he was gone. The categories are in order of importance.

NCAA Football – Division I – Week I

College football season kicked off last weekend. My Monday morning awards for my teams or teams that influence my teams are:
Oklahoma State – The Cowboys win the “Way to scare the Indians” Award. It was fun to see the No. 1 team running for their lives.
Baylor – The Bears looked good and win the “Beautiful, new stadium” Award. Long night for SMU. Hope Petty is OK.
Auburn, Georgia, Alabama and LSU – You share the “Poo Poo Undies” Award for scaring your fans and not winning until the second half or the fourth quarter.
Texas – Glad you got a Strong win. Of course, it was North Texas who should be playing SMU. I predict Ash will be hurt before Big 12 play begins.
Texas A&M – the strongest looking team in college football. And that is not a subjective opinion. Check ESPN. Why is SMU even on the Aggie schedule?

The World
These ISIS terrorists continue to terrorize the world. These terrorist are so mean, they have been kicked out of Al Qaida.

National/Texas Politics

There is movement for a Cruz/Perry or Perry/Cruz ticket for president. I do not know who is behind such a movement, but I now believe in Zombies, because these people obviously have no brains.

And the Tweet Heard ‘Round the Twitter sphere. Captain Hairspray sent a tweet this morning with the mug shot of the Austin, DA, Rosemary Lindberg, with the caption “Drunkest Democrat in Texas.” He then retracted the tweet and said he did not know how that happened. If you do not know how to tweet, then don’t play on Twitter. The attribute of Twitter is that it is INSTANT. Even if you retract the tweet within seconds, it has already hit the Twitter sphere, or in this case the proverbial fan, and somebody’s phone dinged or beeped and you were busted. Even if Captain Hairspray did not send the tweet, it still presents a problem. If he did not do it, then somebody near enough to hijack his phone did. I think it might have been better to say, “The Democrats did it and hacked my Twitter account,” rather than “I don’t know what happened,” which is just another way of saying “Oops.” Here’s What I’m Thinking – I think you should just come back to Texas and figure out exactly what the indictments against you are. You are not indicted for bribery. And I am not a lawyer either.