Monday, August 25, 2014 – Game Week – Game One
I have a dead bird and a dead chicken in my tightly sealed, garbage can that is sitting in my unairconditioned garage and the garbage pick-up is not until Wednesday, still 48 hours away. Sunday morning I opened the door from the kitchen to the garage and thought “Call CSI – something is dead in here. “ It was the bird and the chicken. Actually, it was the chicken part. More specifically, a chicken breast. Lest you think I am conducting sacrifices the week the Aggies’ opponent is South Carolina, whose mascot is a chicken, rooster, gamecock named, Cocky, it is purely coincidence. Coincidence and stupidity. Friday morning, I found a dead mourning dove in the backyard. Hey, they are stupid birds and fly into things. I carefully put it in a plastic bag, then put the sealed bag in a fresh fragrance garbage bag, tied it very securely, said a little prayer and put it in the garbage can. Friday evening, just around supper time, I found the frozen chicken breast at the bottom of the freezer and rather than let it thaw slowly while under refrigeration, I just tossed the frozen chunk into the sink to thaw. I promptly forgot about it until Saturday morning. Late Saturday morning. I was afraid to eat it for fear of salmonella, swine flu, chicken flu, mad cow disease, E.coli, West Nile virus, SARS, Ebola or whatever catastrophic illness results from eating chicken that has been left out. This is the point where my senses departed. Unlike the dead backyard wild bird, I carelessly tossed chicken part, still in the plastic baggie, into my kitchen garbage bag, which needed to be taken out. So I then tossed the somewhat still open garbage bag with the chicken breast on top into the giant green plastic can marked Bryan Utilities. By Sunday morning the smell was eye-watering and as I said, garbage pick-up is still many hours away. Of course I can sit the can out Tuesday evening so odors of the dead can pervade the neighborhood evening. The neighbors will think I killed somebody or am a witch. A Witch! That’s it. If anyone asks about the smell coming from my garage and/or trash can, I will tell them I cast a spell (sounds so much more gentle than sacrifice) on the South Carolina mascot so the Aggies will win and yes, there is a dead bird and a dead chicken in my garbage can. Completely understandable. Will probably become a tradition.
Counting the hours until I can put out the garbage.