Friday, May 1, 2020 – Life in the Times of Coronavirus – Or Uno de Mayo
It’s May! It’s May! The Lusty Month of May! That song is from Camelot for all you non artsy, fartsy folks.
The state of Texas is open for business today as per Governor Greg Abbott. Restaurants, malls and movie theatres are allowed to open.
Now I am not talking about the health issues, political issues or timing of the re-opening of Texas. That is your thing Governor. I am talking WHICH BUSINESSES are opening in the first phase. This is a bipartisan issue effecting at least 50 of the population of Texas.
Hair and nail salons and gyms are not in the initial opening phase. If you are going to Re-open Texas, these places need to open sooner than later.
Listen, Governor Abbott. We women have been sitting at home watching our nails and hair grow for weeks. Many of my friends have not seen the original color of their hair since Jimmy Carter was president. Some of us have not had locks that long since Nixon was in office. Women with big hair in Lubbock will be able to go as Cousin Itt from The Addams Family for Halloween. Men are beginning to resemble Darryl – formerly known as Big Foot. And I do not EVEN want to think about waxing of body parts.
Women are taping their bangs with tape attempting to trim the bangs over their forehead evenly. Women are giving their husbands, sons, uncles, boyfriends, children a DIY Trim. One of my friends said, “To Hell with it and shaved her husband’s head.”
Homemade hair cuts are creating a significant new fashion look, but hair is not as critical as NAILS! Husbands, wives and significant others everywhere are having to cut each other’s toenails.
None of these toenail cutting imagination scenarios are pretty in the cob-webbed corners of our minds. Speaking of not pretty, none of us have been to the gym since Texas Independence Day in March. It does not matter how many walks around the neighborhood you take, it ain’t the gym! My baggy pants are now my fat pants. And I am talking about SWEAT PANTS!
So, Governor, this is bassackwards. The wrong businesses are opening first. You think we women are going out in public to a restaurant, mall or movie theatre? So, open the beauty and nail salons and gyms back up, please. I guarantee it will make Texas a more beautiful place.