Thursday, April 28, 2016 – Cruz and Carly Sitting in a Tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G! Or Campaign Gonzo.
Our vocabulary word for today is “gonzo.” * It is an adjective from the world of journalism and reporting that means filled with bizarre or subjective ideas, commentary or the like; crazy, eccentric.
Ted Cruz announced yesterday that Carly Fiorina is his choice for running mate as Vice President. This created the CruzFiorina slogan. I might have gone with Cruz &Carly given that CruzFiorina sounds like a vacation offer to the island of Fiorina – not to mention a definite tilt toward advertising something only legal in Nevada.
I think Senator Cruz should have selected Yvonne DeCarlo, but I believe she has passed on to the Big TV network in the sky. It would have been nice to see Lily Munster and Grampa Munster together again. I know I am not the only one who thinks Ted Cruz looks like Grampa Munster.
Using Ted Cruz logic of premature announcements with unrealistic expectations, next week I am playing in my Ladies Golf League in the President’s Cup Tournament. In spite of at least 15 other golfers who are scratch golfers, low handicap golfers, former professional golfers and two former golf coaches ahead of me, I am confident I am going to win the championship. I have chosen Jordon Spieth as my playing partner. I realize that even with Jordon’s score and my score combined we do not have a golf ball’s chance in hell of winning.
My golf game closely resembles Senator Cruz’s campaign. Last week I put three balls in the water on Hole 1 to finally mark down 14 on the first hole. But like Roy “Tin Cup” McAvoy, and obviously Senator Cruz, we will keep swinging until we are out of balls and DQ’d and we are not talking about the Dairy Queen and probably not golf balls either.
Should Donald Trump be elected president of the United State, I plan to adopt his game of golf – only count the shots you like and disregard the others, yell very loudly and blame the golf club I chose to use. I might take up racquet ball. One has to have a wall to play that game.
With that – a Gonzo Good-bye.
* But what was the story? Nobody had bothered to say. So we would have to drum it up on our own. Free Enterprise. The American Dream. Horatio Alger gone mad on drugs in Las Vegas. Do it now: pure Gonzo journalism. — Hunter S. Thompson, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, 1972