Monday, February 2, 2015 – Ground Hog Day
Keep the coats the snow plows handy. Punxsutawney Phil says six more weeks of winter. It seems the rodent emerged from his hole on Gobbler’s Knob in Pennsylvania at 3:00 am this morning. However, the rodent, Chuck, on Statin Island in New York at 7:30 am says spring is just around the corner. See the rodents cannot even agree. Seems last year the mayor of Charlotte, New York dropped the ground hog who later died of her injuries. I wonder where Peta was for this. In 2009, the ground hog bit then mayor, Michael Bloomberg on the hand. This year they choose a hands-off approach and kept the ground hog in a Plexiglas enclosure. In Alaska, February 2 is observed as Marmot Day rather Groundhog Day because few ground hogs exists in the state.
What if they used the same rodents to determine presidential candidates? Wouldn’t that be cheaper than a convention and all those minutes of rude, callous, mostly false TV commercials against opponents? Put some names of candidates on the ground; let the rodent out of his cage or Plexiglas enclosure and whichever name the groundhog chooses gets to be the candidate. Punxsutawney Phil could be used for all parties. Until rodents and squirrels have the right to vote, this seems just as good as any other predictor of success.
Oh well, if you think you are having a bad Monday, it could be worse. You could be the Seattle Seahawks and their fans who are wondering: You have one of the strongest running backs in the NFL. You are on the one yard line. There is less than 30 seconds left in the game. And the play called is to throw the football. Really? And just like in the 1993 movie Ground Hog Day, you will have to replay that play for the next year over and over and over again.