Monthly Archives: January 2015

Tuesday, January 6, 2015 – The Morning After Assessment

Good Time Zone Class,

Before we continue and hear the most anticipated conclusions of The Decline and Fall of Practically Everybody Who Played in an NCAA Football Bowl Game, let’s waste most of the allotted time practicing assessment, rather than conducting instruction. Are there any questions? Yes?

Of course, there is an assessment.  This is Texas education. Where are you from? Donde esta you country?

Question # 1 – What color was the ESPN share of the pie? Red is correct.

Question # 2 – What is R. Loftin Bowen’s profession? That is correct. Dr. Bowen is a physicist.

Very good. As you recall, we were discussing the propensity of the population sampled that were founded as Land Grant institutions of higher education. Ready, pencils up?

The Morrill Land Grant Acts are important because of the following three components.

(1) The emphasis of study – AKA the Curriculum – shifted from the classical studies models used in Europe and continued by the East Coast colleges and universities.  There is nothing wrong with a classical education.  It can be a tremendous asset in games involving trivia and other useless information. Unfortunately it can result in knowing who invented the washing machine, but the inability to repair one.

(2) It was the first time educational institutions got financial support from the government. Yes, that would be the FEDERAL one.  There seems to be an emerging pattern that this is the same group of states that have had trouble with the federal government before.

(3) There was a required military component in the curriculum.

Thoughts, Factoids, Outcomes, Conclusions and Recommendations

• There are more green colors, land grant schools, on the chart that any other. I have no idea what it means. If you want to know the statistical probability of that happening, go hang out at the Asian Cultural Center. They can probably do the statistics in their heads.
• Michigan State was the first Land Grant School. It became the prototype for the other land grant schools.
• Hail Mary passes only work for Catholic schools. For Baptist and other protestant public founded institutions, like Baylor and Alabama respectively, Hail Mary passes are ineffective.
• The educational founding of Florida State University is and was controversial. However, it was one of the first schools to accept a diverse population. Women were allowed as early as 1901. In the 1960’s it was known as “the Berkley of the South.” It had one of the first female Rhodes scholars. Today, it has a large number of Rhodes scholars. Its academic prowess aligns with those such as Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Rice and those types. Therefore, how did Jameis Winston get in? The school also claims to have invented streaking. Perhaps there is a link there.
• The Latin Motto of Oregon University is “Mind moves the Mass.” It could just as easily have been The Mind Moves the Masses. The people who founded Oregon, the state and eventually the university, walked, rode a horse, role a mule, took a donkey, took a wagon, fought the Indians across uncharted territory and did whatever they had to do as they traveled on what would become The Oregon Trail. People also came to Oregon by boat. You ever see what is west of the West Coast? Water. These folks are rugged, confident, take no prisoners, stay calm and paddle like hell type of people. The campus of Oregon University was the setting of National Lampoon’s Animal House. Cool! Food Fight!
• The OHIO State University – what is that shitty little sticker on your helmets? A buckeye leaf or seed? A pot leaf? What? Further study is recommended.
• There are way too many bowl games!
• The NCAA has lost its mind.
• Tighten bowl eligibility requirements.
• I only care about Texas A&M University.
• Does college football really need a bowl game in Dubai? It’s on the books with dates to be determined. No kidding!

Friday, January 2, 2015 – The Twilight Zone

To paraphrase the late, Jerry Garcia and The Grateful Dead – What a long strange year it has been – and it is only a few hours old.

I have a college football bowl hangover and am still processing just the games from yesterday. Who remembers the ABC Wide World of Sports tagline “The thrill of victory and the agony of defeat?” Right now the winners are: ESPN, Chick-Filet and Larry Culpepper, the Dr. Pepper soda guy.

But let’s rewind to New Year’s Eve. If you recall, the Computer, whose name, btw is Toshiba, was quite ill and taking over my life.  It was contaminated with Adware, Malware, What the Kardashians Wear and more equally bad things. But I am getting ahead of myself.

I actually stayed up until midnight. Just before the New Year rang in, I watched an episode of The Twilight Zone on the marathon of the same name on the SyFy Channel. It was and still is an incredible TV program.  I could go on about the merits of the show, but suffice to say it is an all-time favorite and I have probably seen every episode multiple times.

The episode just before midnight was an episode from 1961 that starred Burgess Meredith (Go to Google) on trial by The State for being “obsolete.” He is sentenced to death which is televised to the masses as a warning.  (Think Hunger Games, Divergent, dystopian society) His occupation? A Librarian.  The State was represented by an individual (very Hitlerian and Stalininist in nature and demeanor, but with no facial hair) who tries and convicts the librarian. As in so many episodes, irony is a major component.  Meredith uses his knowledge and tricks the representative of The State who then goes on trial and is sentenced to death. His crime? Inability to function in society according to The State rules.  

On New Year’s Day, I take Toshiba the Computer, to Dr. Geek Squad. Dr. Geek’s recommendation is to have Dr. Geek Squad Specialists repair via a remote takeover of my computer in the luxury of my home with an Internet connection.

So while Florida State was being smashed by The Oregon Attack Ducks, I turned my computer over to someone, somewhere probably named HAL, for repair.  It was really, creepy and trippy and yet exciting to watch your computer being controlled from an unknown Agent of cyber space. For about three hours he (I knew his name and alleged gender because I was in a chat room with him – part of the creepiness), but he removed programs and cleaned my computer. No, I did not have to sit for the entire three hours, but you could watch everything that was being done. You had no control over what was happening. It was as though ‘it was from another dimension; from another place and another time; in a society where the individual has no thoughts and is controlled by an unknown authority. Next stop – The Twilight Zone.”

And then the final message window verifying that the process was completed popped up.  It read:

“You may now resume control of your regularly scheduled computing.”

Yep – you can hear The Twilight Zone music, can’t you?