Monday, December 1, 2014 – The List Grows Shorter and The Committee Grows Stronger – Week 14
It was Rivalry Weekend or as I said anything can happen and it did. The remaining games are fewer and The Committee’s decisions become stronger. As the advertising asks “Who’s In?” officially, one must wait until next week for the rankings of The Committee, but it is looking as though TCU could become the school of religion in The Big Four. Apparently, for Baylor, walking on a soggy, wet, rain soaked field is not the same as walking on water.
Who or what does Brent Mushbagger know? Does he have video on ESPN executives? Why is he still talking? At least the equally obnoxious Jesse Palmer is better to look at and actually has proof of an athletic collegiate experience. I understand Brent got to call The Iron Bowl game on ESPN between Auburn and Alabama as long as he promised not to make oogling, disparaging remarks about the Alabama quarterback’s fiancée like he did last year.
But it is Monday and that means my college football awards. This was intrastate rivalry, bring the recruits and impress The Committee weekend.
WHEN I SAY “ALA”, THEN YOU SAY “BAMA”. And the Tide is rolling. The Crimson Tide wins The Playing Well is the Best Revenge Award. Did you see that little bit of time prior to half time when Auburn almost came back and was actually leading at one point? That was when the Alabama water boys and girls were playing while the team rested a few minutes. Could it be that that the National Championship trophy is headed to a Wal-Mart near Tuscaloosa soon?
Somebody sent me a text and asked why I do not write more about Ohio State. Well, there. I just did. Really, though, what team’s mascot is a tree or the fruit from the Buckeye tree? And what are those little stickers on the helmets? Buckeye seeds? But for the texter, OSU gets the first two awards.
The Really Uncomfortably Tight Spandex Award goes to The Ohio State for not really looking good. I am sorry your quarter broke his ankle, but it does become a factor for The Committee to consider.
The Ohio University also receives The Dot in Ohio Award for recovering a fumble with 3:15 left in the game to go ahead and win by 21, making the game appear to be a run away, when it really wasn’t. Excuse me, didn’t you win this last week too where you had to come from behind? Hear that Committee?
The Eye of the Tiger Award goes to Missouri. How much does a pig weigh at two or three months? Show Me! About 25 # or about what a Missouri tiger eats per day. But next year Arkansas will not be a pig. It will be that fully, grown giant, Razorback Hog and will need to be reckoned with.
The William Tecumseh Sherman Award goes to the Rambling Wrecks from Georgia Tech while they were Marching Through Georgia and winning in OT.
The Really Uncomfortably Tight, This is Getting Ridiculous Award goes to Florida State for one “ mo” time winning in the fourth quarter during the final minutes of play, and not looking like a team in The Big Four. Let’s go Georgia Tech! You have the first opportunity to really mess up things by winning against FSU next week.
The You Almost Had Em Swan Song Award goes to Uncle Will and the Florida Gators. What? Muschamp at Texas A&M as Defensive Coordinator? Surely, you jest. He would have to do as many mea culpas as Pope Francis to apologize for comments made against the Aggies and almost any team he has come in contact with. Take it on out to Lubbock, Will. They can’t hear you yell as loud on the prairie. And take some fashion sense with you.
There is the Hottie Toddy Touchdown Award for the 91 yard touchdown run against Mississippi State (one of many touchdowns) giving The Egg Bowl Trophy to Ole Miss and sending the Mississippi State Bulldogs sliding out of the top.
The Humpty Dumpty Award goes to Mississippi State as all the kings’ horses and all the kings’ men couldn’t put the Heisman for Prescott together again.
From the West Coast, we have two games of slight importance, but possible great significance.
Between the Arizona Sun Devils and the Arizona Wildcats, the Wildcats take home whatever their state rivalry trophy is called, but the Wildcats of Arizona will have the second opportunity to really mess things up with a win over Oregon next week.
Between The Cardinal and the Bruin, (Stanford and UCLA) they both win, The But We are Still Smarter Than Your School Award, but with Stanford winning the football game.
And, lastly, to the Baylor Bears you get your name placed with all of the others on the giant This is Why We Hate Texas Tech Trophy. You can add your name to all the rest of the teams who have been down three touchdowns, or more going into the fourth quarter, only to lose, or almost lose, in the closing seconds of the game with long pass receptions. Kingsbury football at its finest. I feel certain Baylor is wishing and hoping and singing and praying and anything else for victories by Arizona and Georgia Tech next Friday and Saturday.