What Do You Mean The Days are Unexcused?

Dear Parent,

Please note your child has been absent for four days from the As Yet Unnamed Home School of One. Without a note, four of these days will be marked as Unexcused. Monday was an In-service Day while the many-hatted individual person of principal, curriculum director and communications officer tried to learn how to use the new smart phone. The phone is smarter than the operator.

If your child continues to miss days with unexcused absences you will be required to come to school with your child and/or be subject to Texas truancy laws. Please submit a note regarding your child’s lack of attendance. Parental support is critical to the operations of the school.

Sincerely,

The Principal

ASUHSOO

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Dear principal at the ASUHSOO,

Here is my note.

Monday. No school due to teacher training.

Tuesday – the golf team played so that counts as an excused absence. Please talk to the golf coach.

Wednesday – the student was sick and has proof of going to the dentist.

Thursday – the student was sick as the ragweed count was the highest on record since record keeping and her brain felt like Jell-O wrapped in a wet towel.

Friday – the student was sick and grief stricken following the Texas Aggies’ last two second lost to Oklahoma State University. She was taken to her bed with gloom, despair and agony to boot.

If you count my child absent, I will sue you and the school. Thank you.

———-

Dear Parent,

Thank you for your note. I am pleased to report all days are now marked as EXCUSED. As I too am a Former Student, I am making last Friday excused also.

However to make up the work, the student will be required to post something everyday this week. So get busy and ensure the thoughts are written. These will be called Practice Random Acts of Unrelated Writings.

Thank you for your support.