Here's What I'm Thinking

Friday, March 24, 2023 – Brackets and B Ball – No Place But Texas

This is the best March Madness ever and we are not quite half way through.

My men’s and women’s brackets busted before I could even get them off of the printer.  By Round Two it was all over, but the crying because double digit seated teams were beating the favorites. Teams that no one had ever heard of before were winning. Do not try to tell me that you had heard of Farleigh Dickenson! There were upsets every day and sometimes every game played on a single day was an upset.

Both men’s and women’s teams from Princeton made it to the NCAA tournament. The women’s team lost in the second round even though the team gave the Utah Utes (not to be confused with “the two Yutes from My Cousin Vinny.) a quality game. The Princeton’s men’s team plays tonight. I love to listen to the announcers when a Princeton team plays. For example:

Announcer discussing the opponent: They are a fifth year Senior, majoring in general studies, was a JuCo transfer and holds the school record for most points, rebounds and assists.

Announcer discussing Princeton players – They are a future Rhodes Scholar, majoring in international law, speaks six languages, and their hobby is programming and coding video games.

Note: Notice how I did that gender free?

Dribbling on. If you refer back to the first post of this HWIT, you will note my prediction that there will be no women’s team from Texas participating in Dallas. I noted that there was a Call for Volunteers to work the Women’s Final Four Tournament. Once there was a time…

On the men’s bracket, the only team from the SEC is Alabama and their controversy. If Texas Tech and Bama played Tech could do “Guns Up!” Seriously, you Techsters need to change that. Maybe “Tortilla Throw Now!” Also tonight, we have The University of Houston playing Miami and THE University of Texas playing Xavier. My two least favorite schools in the entire state. Have you noticed that all schools do a Horns Down sign now? If you, TU, had not made such a big deal out of the gesture, no one would have noticed. Heck, Princeton fans do it and do not have a clue.

Speaking of least favorite teams, Notre Dame and Louisville are still playing on the women’s bracket. Can any team, including D II and DIII men’s teams, stop South Carolina? The Gamecocks bench is better than most teams.

The best part of March Madness are the commercials. Like him or not, Charles Barkley is funny! I sure hope he got paid big bucks for doing Chuck and the Chuckettes. But he does look good in satin and sequins. And how clever is Chuck Stop. And of course, there is the national treasure, Willie Nelson on the road again, with  “B-Ball with my friends…”

Enough dribbling down the court. I hope your team wins.

Monday, March 20, 2023 – Twelve Angry Men or I Had Jury Duty

I was summoned for jury duty today. I know. I can age out of the responsibility, but I do not want to do so. It is one’s civic duty to be a part of the judicial process.

First of all, I have nothing better to do. Second of all, I get to wear something besides sweats, shorts or blue jeans and t-shirts. I must actually wear shoes and not tennis shoes or slides.

One is required to dress in dignified and appropriate attire. From the notice – “This includes, NO SHORTS, HATS OR REVEALING CLOTHING.” I have a court ensemble. It is the same as my funeral ensemble. I wear my RBG socks with black leather loafers, black pants with sharp leg creases and a must have, non-negotiable button down shirt. This tends to confuse the lawyers – it is difficult to determine if I would lean toward the state or toward the defense.

Third of all I enjoy going through voir dire. I enjoy being questioned by the attorneys. First question: Ms. Duffey? Response: Yes. It is Dr. Duffey.” This usually works to get me out and they really do not want to ask any questions, but they have to ask their question anyway.

Fourth of all, I doubt I shall be chosen. As noted, as soon as I put on the doctor hat, the attorneys lose interest. However, should another questions be asked, these two are usually the ones:

Dr. Duffey? What do you do?

Response: I am retired.

What did you retire from?

Response: The state of Texas.

And at this point I am usually done. Defense attorneys seldom like jurors whose retirement is the same as their opponent.

Dressing conservatively; using an academic title, and retiring from the state is usually all I need to be released from becoming a jury. I am way too educated and experienced to be a part of an accused “jury of their peers.”

Unless of course, the jury summons is for the Grand Jury. In that case what they attorney’s are looking for are people wearing blacked creased pants, with a button-down shirt, a post baccalaureate degrees and experience in a bureaucracy.

I showed up at the appointed hour, filled out my payment form, donating my $6.00 to some court charity, and from 8:15 am until 9:45, the prospective jurors sat in the hallway on very hard benches. At this time, we streamed into the courtroom, only to be relieved of duty as plea bargains were reached for all defendants.  So much for civic duty.

Friday, March 17, 2023 – Happy St. Gertrude’s Day and Happy St. Patrick’s Day

Dia dhaoibh a chaired – That phrase is Gaelic and translates to Hello Friends. There are about fifteen more Irish phrases that mean Hello Friends.

Today is for everyone who pretends they are Irish, thinks they are Irish (See Ancestry.com) and of course those who are actually Irish on this day.

 Most people celebrate by wearing green to celebrate St. Patrick. It is said to keep away the leprechauns and fairies who come out on this day. Did you know that the British once forbid the “wearing of the green,” and even hanged people if caught wearing the color in support of the Irish?  Now it symbolizes freedom. So St. Paddy’s day is a day of celebration of freedom and love.

March 17 is also the celebration of St. Gertrude. Often forgotten (like most women in history), Gertrude is the patron saint of cats. So when you tip your pint of Guinness today and eat your corn beef (Catholic Church said it is OK – such a progressive institution,) remember to toast to St. Gertrude. And most love all, love the furry creature who brings you joy and love.

Now I’m off for a traditional Irish meal – a potato and a six pack of Guinness. Éirinn go Brách, – Ireland Forever.

Monday, March 13, 2023 – The Time Change or How Do I Love Thee

The Time Change

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

I love thee like a root canal with no anesthesia,

Or a flat tire on a Houston freeway during 5:00 PM rush hour, with no spare.

I love thee like a week-long blizzard in Texas in February with a failing energy grid,

Or a 24 hour stomach virus and running out of toilet paper.

I love thee to the depths and breaths of a Texas summer with no air conditioning.

I love thee like iambic pentameter and the onomatopoeia of screeching cats in heat next door.

Or miles and miles of road construction with stand still stops for no apparent reason.

How do I love the time change? Let me count more ways.

I love thee like a stopped up toilet on a Sunday morning of a holiday week end,

Or the morning sounds of waking up to gagging as my cat deposits a hairball in my bed near my head.

I love thee like a Category 5 Texas Gulf Coast hurricane,

Or unexpected hail storm in May when your car is in the parking lot,

I love thee like this is not only the last line of the sonnet, but the last time we change the time.

PS – I know it is Sunday. Just spring forward like we did yesterday.

Friday, March 10, 2023 – The Invasion of the Mob and Congregation or Home on the Deranged

Tie me kangaroo down, Sport,

Tie me kangaroo down,

Cause if the alligator don’t eat it,

It will jump the fence,

So tie me kangaroo down.

A group of kangaroos is a called a mob. A group of people who keep kangaroos are called crazy. Really? Who, and how, does one keep a kangaroo? Better question, why? From Texas Monthly Magazine…

“A neighborhood in the North Texas town of Prosper had an unusual visitor earlier this month: a male kangaroo named Jax escaped from a nearby backyard, where he had been raised as a pet. Jax’s owner had to coax him back home with a bottle of milk. Less than a week later, another pet kangaroo named Nigel escaped his backyard home in Granbury and went on the lam for two days before hopping home. These are just the latest in a slew of kangaroo escapes across the state over the last few years, including in Mercedes, San Marcos, and Lumberton.

All of which, honestly, raises the question: You can keep a kangaroo as a pet in Texas? And how many are there, anyway?

The answer is yes and, it turns out, quite a few. Texas is one of thirteen states that allow people to own kangaroos as an exotic pet, and the species is particularly popular here, in part due to the similarities between Texas’s environment and their hot, arid Australian home.” That means when it is hotter than the hinges of Hell in Texas, the kangaroos enjoy the weather. Just because can keep a Roo, doesn’t mean you should! I suppose a group of kangaroo escapes is called a slew. And why are you surprised when one jumps the fence and goes down to the gym to box and workout?

https://www.texasmonthly.com/travel/kangaroos-loose-in-texas/

Speaking of back yard exotic pets.

Texas Woman Raised an Alligator Pet. Texas Parks and Wildlife officials discovered a massive alligator outside a woman’s backyard Saturday. The officials said she had raised the gator from an egg she stole from the Animal World and Snake Farm Zoo in New Braunfels.

7-Foot Alligator Raised as Pet by a Texas Woman for Over 20 Years

A group of alligators is called a congregation. An individual who keeps alligators is called deranged – as in Home, Home on the Deranged, where the alligators and kangaroos live.

So kangaroos in the back yard are ok, but alligators in the back yard are not, especially large ones. I did not see a name for alligator, so let’s just call it Captain Crunch. If you read the article, it costs about $150 per month to feed an alligator, including whole chickens weekly. So Alligator Mama had the old dinosaur for 20 years. Do the math!

Here is what I’m Thinking. Is this an effort to meet like-minded people? Would you like to come jump around in my back yard with my pet kangaroo? Can the Roo be trained to bring beverages on the patio? Or perhaps, you would like to see the alligator I raised from the egg that I stole? Don’t get too close.

So should you see a galloping kangaroo hopping around, you can bring it home and put it your backyard. After that, you are on your own.

Should you see a galloping alligator, RUN! Do I really need to tell you this?

So see you later alligator, after while crocodile. Don’t forget to tie your kangaroo down, Sport.

Monday, March 6, 2023 –  What’s the News Across the Nation?

Sing along ‘What’s the News Across the Nation? We have got the information; Laugh-In Looks at the news?”

Rowan and Martin’s Laugh-In was so ahead of its time. Sock It to Me, Baby?

In today’s news. March 6. On this day in history the Alamo fell to Santa Anna’s forces. Remember? It would only get worse for the Texians (that was how it was spelled back then) as the Mexican Army went to Goliad, killed everybody. Whoever had wheels and/or feet hauled ass in what Texans refer to as The Run Away Scrape. It was a group of refugees fleeing the Mexican Army, headed to the Sabine River. If Santa Anna had not taken so many naps, we might be speaking Spanish.

Yesterday in history, March 5, 1963 marked the anniversary of one of the greatest voices of all time – Virginia Patterson Hensley better known as Patsy Cline. So very young.

Enough about history, let’s turn to today’s happenings. Fasten your seat belts; it’s going to be a bumpy ride. I am referring to the TE of A, Texas Education Agency planning to take over the Houston (BY-GOD!) Independent School District. I am confident that I could go to law school and still regroup the financial investment with the potential lawsuits stemming from this.

Why does TEA take over a school district? It usually involves numbers. Financial numbers are being altered. Test scores numbers are being altered. Reports involving numbers are being altered, board meetings are being altered and then lying about all of the above. Houston newspapers and links’ read “HISD Braces for TEA Take-Over” and “Parents Protest Potential TEA Takeover.” This sounds as though the district is preparing for battle.

Here is why Texas Education Agency officials have recommended that a state-appointed governing team replace Houston ISD’s locally elected school board after a six-month investigation found several instances of alleged misconduct by some trustees, including violations of the Texas Open Meetings Act, inappropriate influencing of vendor contracts and making false statements to investigators.

Here’s What I’m Thinking. I am thinking that I am so glad that Joan and Richard and I no longer work for the TEA. Facing the Texas Legislature ain’t nothing compared to a bunch of pissed off, angry and uniformed parents with signs.  

Stay tuned.

My apologies for such a late posting. I am practicing for the dreaded time change next week when I have no idea what time it is.

March 3, 2023 – Snarky Friday Returns Too!

Just when you thought it was safe to get on the Internet that Al Gore invented, Snarky Friday returns to Here’s What I’m Thinking.

It is the third day of March. This day is necessary before we can March Fourth.

The NCAA women’s conference basketball tournaments are being held this weekend. The men’s conference tournaments are next week. Or as I like to refer to them  – A Parade of Tattoos and Funky Hair Dos.

The Women’s NCAA Division I Final Four Tournament is in Dallas and the men’s NCAA Division I Final Four is in Houston. Snarky Marky says –“ It is high doubtful that there will be a women’s NCAA team in Dallas this year from the state of Texas. Vic? Wasn’t this supposed to be your Year of the Horns? “I know, as usual overrated and under-performing. I wonder if TU has thought of that as a bumper sticker? Overrated and Under-performing – We’re Texas!

Since I am snarking on the burnt orange, I see where the Longhorn Network does not transfer to the SEC. It seems it is because the LHN has bad programming while the SECN has good programming. I have not heard if the SECN will allow the 2006 Rose Bowl Game to be played ad nauseum or not. I really hope this is a wise move for BEVO and the rest of TEAMS!. Did you not look at the other sports? I am certain there will be much to snark about this topic in the future. And even though Texas loses the Longhorn Network, it gained Stephen F. Austin State University in its System. That is a big PURPLE SNARK!

The last snarky goes to me. I did not intentionally do it. Heck, I did not even think of it. Thank you to Cecil G. for pointing it out. I laughed all day.

When talking about the musical Chicago in last Monday’s post, I mentioned that Catherine Zeta-Jones, Renee Zellweger, and Queen Latifa were nominated for Academy Awards. I failed to mention that John C. Reilly, who played Amos Hart, was also nominated as Best Actor in a Supporting Role. His song in Chicago? Mr. Cellophane. I just looked through him, walked right by him and never knew he was there.

Monday, February 27, 2023 -My Anesthesia

During my convalescence from hip surgery, I watched many movies at 3:00 AM or 4:00 AM. If you have every had surgery with a general anesthesia, you know it really messes with your sleep patterns. Sidebar: Little known historical fact – Anesthesia was Anastasia of Russia’s first cousin.

I thought it would be motivational to watch a movie with dancing – you know to get back on my feet again. I think people who can sing are great. I think people who can dance are great. But people who can sing AND dance at the same time are just unbelievable. The movie I watched at least three times is:

CHICAGO

Chicago is a 2002 American musical black comedy crime film based on the 1975 stage musical of the same name which in turn originated in the 1926 play of the same name.

Did you know the play and the movie were based on real events? These two would become the inspiration for Velma Kelly and Roxie Hart. Unfortunately, they were not able to pull off a bob or a marcel wave like their movie portrayals did.

https://blog.strazcenter.org/2018/09/11/he-had-it-comin/?amp=1

When opening strains of that jazz trumpet play All That Jazz, I just go weak all over. As I watched (and sometimes sang along) I wondered which part I would play best. Would it be Velma Kelly, played by Catherine Zeta-Jones? Or would it be Roxie Hart played by Texas’ very own, from Katy, Texas, Renee Zellweger? I could probably be an okey understudy for Velma Kelly. In my anesthesia induced brain, I can envision no one but Jenny Lee Wax to play Roxie Hart. But I am confident that I would steal the spotlight as Mama Morton.

In addition to Zeta-Jones and Zellweger the film stared Queen Latifa as Mama Morton and Richard Gere as Billy Flynn – all of whom were nominated for Academy Awards!

But we are talking about singing and dancing. Richard Gere learned to tap dance for the scene when the jury is out. I always wanted to step, ball, shuffle.

But it is the Bob Fosse based opening number by Catherine Zeta-Jones that just takes my breath away. Granted, Ginger Rogers danced everything that Fred Astaire did, but backwards and in high heels. Catherine Zeta-Jones not only does that but she was three months pregnant when she played Vera Kelly in Chicago. She would go on to win the Oscar for Best Supporting Actress for Chicago and Chicago would win best picture.

Now I am going to work on my sheba shake …

Oh, you’re gonna see me
Sheba shimmy shake
And all that jazz

Oh, she’s gonna shimmy
Till her garters break
And all that jazz…

Friday, February 24, 2023

BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND -HERE’S WHAT I’M THINKING

The last post was 14 months ago – December 2021. So what have I been doing since that time? I think I have repressed much of that time frame.

From January 1 (and months before) until August 30, I did a great deal of sitting. Sitting because it hurt to walk because my hip finally wore out. So on August 30, 2022, I had hip replacement surgery. I absolutely detest getting old. Golden Years, my now scarred butt! Body parts do not work as they once did. But thanks to a wonderful orthopedist (Aggie football, Class of ’99), a group of personal trainers and therapists, and unbelievable help from family, friends and neighbors, I healed very fast. I used a walker for about a week. Now it makes a great clothes hanger. I walked with a cane for about three weeks. I named the cane Sugar. I started to name it Citizen, but figured no one would get it. I stopped using the cane when I hit myself in the mouth with it and busted my lip. I took that as a sign. If February had 30 days, it would be my sixth month anniversary.

That fall college football began. Georgia again won the National Championship and Texas A&M finished last behind Vanderbilt in the SEC.  How much is the buyout?

Women’s basketball season began a new coaching era with former Georgia women’s basketball coach, Joni Taylor replacing Gary Blair. I have no idea how I was selected, but on a Monday, I received an email asking if I would be home on the following Thursday because my season basketball tickets would be delivered to my house by a member of the team. Sure enough Coach Joni Taylor shows up at my front door!!

I did not know who it was. When I asked and she said, “I’m Coach Taylor,” I jumped and screamed and hollered and danced like an idiot, making a wonderful impression, I’m sure. Again, I don’t how it came to be, but I doubt my annual $112 donation had anything to do with it. However, it will be my NIL photo.

It was not a good season for the Ladies. Lot’s of energy, lots of injuries, but lots of hope and lots of potential. When you only have seven players available for nine games and three of those are freshman, it is hard to beat an intramural team. But on the men’s side  – Bring It ‘Bama!!! The lack of football created a basketball frenzy on campus.

What else? Oh I wrote a book for my family. I wrote about family, friends and life called My Stories – You’re’sToo! I think they enjoyed it.

But then I wrote another book. This is a book of short stories called They’re Not Crazy – They’re Southern. I am hoping for a May release on Amazon.

Speaking of writing books, if you are an animal lover and especially if you love yorkies, please consider purchasing The Yorkie Who Sings at Midnight by my Sweet Potato Queen Friend, Janne Swearengen. From the back of the book “If you’ve ever given your heart to any animal, especially a rescued animal, this book will speak to you.” It will speak volumes. Make a difference and buy the book!!

That’s all for now. It is the first Friday of Lent so I must find something to eat that did not previously walk on legs on the ground. Gig ‘Em!

Friday, December 3, 2021 – Title Snark

It’s title time. Time to start the orders for the big rings for the winners and a thank you for playing to the rest.

Starting tonight with Conference USA – Western KY and UTSA tonight on CBSSN. This is the best UT team in Texas.

Playing for the Big 12 Title with an early morning kickoff we have Baylor and Oklahoma State at 11:00 on ABC. Since there are so many Baylor alum in the family and only one Oklahoma State alum in the family, I’m supporting the OSU alum and going with the Cowboys.

For one of the Top Four spots  in the Big Playoff in the SEC- Alabama and Georgia at 3:00 on CBS – This is going to ugly with a capital U and I’m not talking about Gary Danielson calling the play. Get out the damnit doll. UGA could swim the Tide.

From the American League and soon to be a part of The Big 12 we have Houston and Cincinnati at 3:00 on ABC. This could be good. I do not care for undefeated teams and besides, I think Dana Holgorsen is cute and Shasta is a beautiful mascot.

In the Big Ten Michigan and Iowa kick off at 7:00 on FOX. Wolverines and Hawks and the only reason I care is because Iowa is mentioned as an opponent for the Aggies.

Titles will be decided and next week bowl invitations will be issued.

That’s it. Merry Snarkness to All and to all a Gig ‘Em Aggies!